I think I should be in charge of Crystal Tokyo....

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Who would you vote for?

  • Neo Queen Serenity

    Votes: 20 52.6%
  • Lord Mala

    Votes: 7 18.4%
  • Other

    Votes: 11 28.9%

  • Total voters
    38
Dec 11, 2015
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Will you appoint people from this forum, especially if they have any of the sailors as wives?
He won't, because we aren't that fictional Candy Kingdom.
Here are my inner council.

Dr Tomoe - Right Hand
He just sued you for defamation.
She's not even born yet.
Dead.
Aluminum Siren - my daughter and one of my close advisers
Even assuming she was an Unicornicopian like you, she wouldn't dare to go against Galaxia.
Kunzite - He is now fired though for leaking some info on the Dark Kingdom
He's not, as he never worked for you.
but I promise you, I have no connections with them
YOU brought them in.
Telulu - She is in charge of the enviornment
Her sentence bans her from working with plants, and she's suing you for defamation.
Dead this one too.
He's not stupid enough to follow you.
Again, why does Minako keep digging up dirt on this guy?
Actually, that would be the husband of his ex-girlfriend. He considers him a stalker-and frankly, I believe he has a point.
This does not mean I am connected to Beryl.
Then why do you always bring her up?
She's been arrested for telling her fans to lynch you.
Even if he were stupid enough to work with you, his wife has him around her little finger.
And then you got some of my enemies like Queen Neherenia.
She's dead.
She talks about how she has a crystal that can destroy us. Well ha! I got a bigger crystal that can go against her, and mine works!
Quartz watches have no special powers. And are antiquated anyway thanks to Lunar technology.
Ami, Rei, Makoto and Minako, especially Minako often get called heroes but that is because they have been captured several times.
The first three, maybe. Minako, never.
I like people who never got captured.
So you don't like yourself, former POW?
And now we are getting killed in the press because of something I said about Rei?
I didn't notice, among everything else...
Now, I never called for violence against her. I do not incite violence! I do not condone violence and I've never talked about "violence".
You did, and there's documented evidence.
I was talking metaphorically.
Still valid as threats in the eyes of the law.
I have to say that when I was younger, all of my experiences were taken place at a time I was at my castle when the Dead Moon were trying to get dream mirrors. I walked out and never saw anything and I was hanging out with my friends and girlfriends until I found the girl who I married and gave birth to my daughter. It was my personal Sailor War and I felt like, and still do feel like a very brave soldier.
You and the other Unicornicopians were busy trying to track down Equestria due your Grand Ruler being Princess Celestia's stalker, don't lie. And their very complete records show you weren't married-you couldn't even get a license under Unicornicopian law after the rhyming jerk lost his patience with you and cut off your "apparate".
 
Likes: Lord Mala
Dec 11, 2015
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Are you planning on creating an armada to deter our enemies? And what plans do you have in place for defense?
The Royal Ministry of Defense already administers a powerful armada. Mala could testify it, he was on the wrong end of it during the Unicornicopian "invasion"... Except he won't even admit he's an anthropormphic space pony, let alone why he's on Earth.
 
Apr 17, 2007
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So the press is coming up with more accusations that I have colluded with the Dark Kingdom by claiming I was going to build a Mala Castle over there.

First of all, that is called business, it does not mean I colluded.

This is why I am called the Master of the Deal, it is my book and I highly recommend you read it!

I am businessman, I know how this is done!

Ami, if you are listening, I highly recommend you read my book as I know you love to study! It will teach you a lot, I promise you!
 
Apr 17, 2007
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You mean like the Dead Moon Circus? Oh I know what they have but I would blow the *insert censored word here* out of them with the Silver Crystal.

Remember, nobody is tougher on the Dead Moon Circus than Lord Mala.
 
Dec 11, 2015
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So the press is coming up with more accusations that I have colluded with the Dark Kingdom by claiming I was going to build a Mala Castle over there.

First of all, that is called business, it does not mean I colluded.
Actually, the accusation was that you were trying to violate the local development plan. And that's called a delict under the law. Still getting a bit confused, I'm Italian and before unification in Italy it was the delicts that were the more serious offense...
This is why I am called the Master of the Deal, it is my book and I highly recommend you read it!
Aaand... You've just gotten sued by the guy you've been trying to imitate. You've surprised me, this time.
I am businessman, I know how this is done!
Is that why you're being investigated by the IRS?
Ami, if you are listening, I highly recommend you read my book as I know you love to study! It will teach you a lot, I promise you!
Actually, she prefers other toilet paper brands.
What will you do now that some places have weapons to launch at a distance and can hit multiple targets at once?
That ability exists since the 20th century. And he cannot do anything, he's not in charge of anything since we captured him during the Unicornicopian attempted invasion.
You mean like the Dead Moon Circus? Oh I know what they have but I would blow the *insert censored word here* out of them with the Silver Crystal.
That you cannot use.
Remember, nobody is tougher on the Dead Moon Circus than Lord Mala.
So brave, attacking corpses long buried...
 
Likes: Lord Mala
Apr 17, 2007
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The fake news media is now calling out that I have been rude to Usagi by walking in front of her. They are saying that it is very rude for me to walk in front of the queen. First of all, there is nothing wrong with me walking in front of Neo Queen Serenity aka Crooked Usagi.

Now the people are having mass protests against me? I mean come on? People are making balloons that resemble me, which I find offensive!

So I got an endorsement from Prince Demand and the people are saying that I never disavowed his controversial organization. I have always disavowed Prince Demand and have always disavowed the Black Moon.

Also, when I do become emperor, and I will become emperor soon, believe me. I will call June 30th "International Mala Day". I promise that I will make it your favorite day of the year, believe me.
 
Likes: Rika-Chicchi
Dec 11, 2015
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The fake news media is now calling out that I have been rude to Usagi by walking in front of her. They are saying that it is very rude for me to walk in front of the queen. First of all, there is nothing wrong with me walking in front of Neo Queen Serenity aka Crooked Usagi.
Your unsurprising ignorance of basic etiquette is noted.
Now the people are having mass protests against me? I mean come on? People are making balloons that resemble me, which I find offensive!
Come on, for once you're making children happy!
So I got an endorsement from Prince Demand and the people are saying that I never disavowed his controversial organization. I have always disavowed Prince Demand and have always disavowed the Black Moon.
Good news, those were actually crazy imitators.

Bad news, they really meant it.
Also, when I do become emperor, and I will become emperor soon, believe me.
Ha!
I will call June 30th "International Mala Day". I promise that I will make it your favorite day of the year, believe me.
How, exactly? Make us laugh.
 
Likes: Lord Mala
Apr 17, 2007
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Just got back from a big meeting today, and it was a big one. I got to meet up with Queen Beryl and I must say, she is a really fine person, believe me.

You know, if there is anyone who is making an attack on Earth, I bet it has to be either the GMP lead by Sailor Venus or any of the other Sailor Guardians. There i no way that the Dark Kingdom could be in on it.

Problem is, the fake news media won't buy it.

Queen Beryl is a very good woman, I would like to know what she did that made her so "bad".
 
Dec 11, 2015
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Just got back from a big meeting today, and it was a big one. I got to meet up with Queen Beryl and I must say, she is a really fine person, believe me.
And now you're being investigated for necromancy.
You know, if there is anyone who is making an attack on Earth, I bet it has to be either the GMP lead by Sailor Venus or any of the other Sailor Guardians. There i no way that the Dark Kingdom could be in on it.
Wow. You sure know how to make enemies.
Problem is, the fake news media won't buy it.
It comes with them having smarts.
Queen Beryl is a very good woman, I would like to know what she did that made her so "bad".
She just couldn't take a heartbreak well. She was even worse than the guy who, after being dumped for being a psychopath, tracked down six other exes of his ex-girlfriend, brainwashed them, and started a League of Evil Exes to dictate her future romantic life...
It belongs to me. It always has. It always will. During the whole eternity.
Who are you, exactly?
 
Likes: Lord Mala
Apr 17, 2007
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Ok, so the fake news media has came out and there have been investigations into Nephrite and Kunzite and now they claim that I was involved in the creation of a castle built in the Dark Kingdom and how that castle was made for Beryl. They even have a wall build onto the castle that said "Mala" on it. Look, I know that at the time when this was done, I never met Beryl. I did not even know who she was at the time.

And so now we see Goldie Lox Minako and her GMP thugs have indicted Nephrite and Kunzite. I know that this is nothing but a witch hunt! There is no collusion! I have known them for years and this is all a witch hunt!

And then at one of my rallies there was this guy protesting against me, claiming false things about me who, I dunno, was roughed up? Well, maybe he should have been roughed up because what he did was disgusting! I have hundreds to thousands of fans and they were not happy with what he was doing.

Let it be known, that your favorite king of Crystal Tokyo and Earth is innocent!
 
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Dec 11, 2015
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Ok, so the fake news media has came out and there have been investigations into Nephrite and Kunzite and now they claim that I was involved in the creation of a castle built in the Dark Kingdom and how that castle was made for Beryl.
They were witnesses, not being investigated.
They even have a wall build onto the castle that said "Mala" on it. Look, I know that at the time when this was done, I never met Beryl. I did not even know who she was at the time.
So, first you deny having met her and then admit you did?
And so now we see Goldie Lox Minako and her GMP thugs have indicted Nephrite and Kunzite. I know that this is nothing but a witch hunt! There is no collusion! I have known them for years and this is all a witch hunt!
First, you're referring to your fakes. Second, that was local police. Third, you're hereby fined 5,000 col for insulting public officials in the exercise of their functions.
And then at one of my rallies there was this guy protesting against me, claiming false things about me who, I dunno, was roughed up? Well, maybe he should have been roughed up because what he did was disgusting! I have hundreds to thousands of fans and they were not happy with what he was doing.
In or out of jail? Because your supporters tend to be aligned with the criminal elements...
Let it be known, that your favorite king of Crystal Tokyo and Earth is innocent!
We know, King Endymion is not being investigated.
 
Likes: Lord Mala
Apr 17, 2007
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Meanwhile at one of my rallies...

Somebody out there who works for me is saying that they are trying to find a way to dispose of me! This is pure treason! I don't know who it is but I bet you guys that this person is either working for Crooked Usagi or Goldie Lox Minako. I will find out who this double agent is, believe me.

We are going to fix all the problems on Earth and.... Wait wait, who is that? Is that person saying "Usagi for Queen"? Ok, get em outta here! To that protestor, I just want to say that I will beat the crap out of you! Just toss em out guys! Throw em out!!!!

Now I see Makato saying "I can't believe this moron. He does have some access to some of the most intelligence in the world but instead he gets his information from Ginga TV. I bet he also gets information from Beryl too!"

Rei said: "He insulted my grandfather! That enough is why he needs to lose the campaign".

Now first of all, I look at all my fans and I wanted to let you know, I have already won! Believe me, I have won.
 
Dec 11, 2015
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Meanwhile at one of my rallies...
Heel!
Somebody out there who works for me is saying that they are trying to find a way to dispose of me! This is pure treason! I don't know who it is but I bet you guys that this person is either working for Crooked Usagi or Goldie Lox Minako. I will find out who this double agent is, believe me.
Already found, it's you and your inability to shut up.
We are going to fix all the problems on Earth
Already done.
and.... Wait wait, who is that? Is that person saying "Usagi for Queen"? Ok, get em outta here! To that protestor, I just want to say that I will beat the crap out of you! Just toss em out guys! Throw em out!!!!
Come on, do it. We've got the riot cops ready. Come on!
Now I see Makato saying "I can't believe this moron. He does have some access to some of the most intelligence in the world but instead he gets his information from Ginga TV. I bet he also gets information from Beryl too!"

Rei said: "He insulted my grandfather! That enough is why he needs to lose the campaign".
Stop dreaming, they were talking about the fact Lady Jupiter this time will use the strawberries for her cake.
Now first of all, I look at all my fans and I wanted to let you know, I have already won! Believe me, I have won.
I said stop dreaming!
 
Likes: Lord Mala
Apr 17, 2007
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Thanks to your favorite king, the economy has greatly improved. I knew I would be the best!

What we have however, is one of Crooked Usagi's spies also known as Goldie Lox Minako who indicted Kunzite, one of the smartest people I have ever known. If it were up to me, I would come to his defense and then I would punch that Goldie Lox in the face!

I mean, it is so good to see that the swamp has really drained. I knew that I would be a stable genius.

And then you got Ami. Ami is not a genius. She's got blue hair, which is sad. Blue is such a sad color, just like her hair. Sad Ami has no intelligence over anything other than I guess the fake news media. My green hair, is better than that. Green is the color of stability. Like I said, I am a very stable genius.

And speaking of geniuses, Wiseman called me and said he would love to meet me in person and we will be scheduling a summit right in front of the Crystal Palace.

So I am at my rally speaking and I see this person and she fell down. I need to ask this. Are you ok? Is everything ok? Oh, it looks like she fainted. That means she's excited for me.

And as for critics posts on social media. Here are there responses.

Critic 1: Hey Mala, Minako is working very hard on #BerylGate and when she is done, your ass is going to jail! #ItsMinakoTime

Critic 2: I am embarrassed to admit I'm from Earth because of you!

Critic 3: Days Mala has gone without saying a lie: 0
 
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