Looking for writing advice (fanfic/fancomic idea)

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Nov 9, 2016
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#1
WARNING: Possible wall of text ahead.

So, I don't know who follows this fanfic/fancomic idea I've been spewing about, but I kinda want to start getting it going. Problem is: I have no idea where the hell I even want to go with this. C_c; I'm confident enough with my artistic skills, but good storywriting is what I need now.

Summary

Initially revolves around my OC Karasu, who commits suicide and gets reanimated by the Witches and inducted into a small experimental soldier project. From there it follows the exploits of the Death Busters during the R season, including run-ins with both law enforcement agencies and rival villain groups, while Karasu (who happens to have a secret, less-than-healthy obsession with the Sailor Guardians) goes along for the ride in hopes of obtaining a level power that will get him noticed by senpai (lol).

Issues

The problem is, I don't really know where to go (or even start) with this. I got a lot of interesting ideas for scenarios and encounters, but can't really put together a good plot or story to tie them all together in a cohesive manner. I'd be lying if I said this wasn't conceived as a means of putting myself in the Sailor Moon universe in some fashion. That being said, I DO want to actually make an interesting story. And I have some really fun and goofy ideas in my head, but again, no real beginning-to-end story progression to tie these in. The general progression I had in mind is kind of like a game of XCOM. They fight monsters and explore lairs, and research artifacts to augment their power so they can take on stronger monsters and more dangerous lairs, rinse and repeat. But to what ultimate end I kinda have to brainstorm.

Which brings that to another challenge: the fact that it centers around the villains, and trying to make them someone you want to follow and even see succeed. Straight up, no joke, the Death Busters (especially Prof. Tomoe himself) are goddamn HYSTERICAL throughout the S season; I LOVE these guys! LMAO ... But, at the end of the day, are any of us really rooting for them to come out on top, knowing what their plans are for the Earth? Obviously, villain protagonists are doable and very abundant -- Walter White being probably the most prolific example in modern media -- but still far more challenging to do correctly than conventional protagonists.

What it all comes down to I guess is, what kind of story should I try to be telling? What I'm thinking right now is just the common story of a Sailor Moon fan who's suddenly thrown into their world of monsters and magic and stuff. Definitely going for an action genre, but I'm split between making either a psychological drama or a borderline-screwball comedy.

Possible solutions

With regards to villain protagonists, I think I have one idea to make them someone you want to see succeed: by NOT having them succeed. At least, not very often. One sub-plot I had in mind revolves around Eudial just trying to keep her Revenant soldiers under control and doing what she tells them. She initially takes command of the Revenants, thinking this will be the big project that will lead her big push to Magus rank, and it ends up being a 24-hour babysitting job for a complete DGAF cavalcade of screw-ups lol. Think Markiplier and friends. If you watch Mark Bob and Wade play together, your interest doesn't come from hoping for them to succeed, it comes from wondering just how much of a dead fish total disaster they're going to create! LMAO

My other idea is exploring Karasu's tragic past, and the events that lead to his desire for strength. Of course the challenge there is making Karasu relatable in the first place (he begins as a the typical introverted loner, like Shinji Ikari. Not the most relatable kind of person IMO :/), and also kinda conflicts with the idea of making this a comedy. >.> The idea is that he initially just wants to be noticed by senpai (the Guardians), even if it means becoming the bad guy. But as he goes along, he realizes that he genuinely enjoys being the bad guy and just having skills and powers that he would have never acquired before his suicide. Ultimately, he has to make a decision of whether it's preferable to be hated by the Sailors, or not even be on their radar at all.

There's probably other things that need to be addressed, but that'll be another time. Meanwhile, any thoughts and opinions would be greatly appreciated.
 
Likes: Onuzim Ima
Aug 11, 2010
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#2
Before you start, you could have a look at other Fan Artists' long-term works like Pusakuronu's Dungeon Keeper Ami, JA's Fan Mangas (has both SM-related as well as own creations), Ryo Urawa's sadly interrupted story (that's to say if you're able to ignore the bad grammar, of course) or see what I did so far (It may be short, but what needed to be told was told - minus some minor connecting scenes which might possibly be added in Omake form some day :))

Dungeon Keeper Ami [Sailor Moon / Dungeon Keeper] [Story Only Thread] (WARNING! Some graphic scenes and mature themes!)
The Realm of Sailor Energy: Tribute to Sailor Moon
The Realm of Sailor Energy: Webcomic Library
No Chance for Fate Chapter 1: Prologue, a Sailor Moon + Ranma Crossover fanfic | FanFiction

That said, once you have a basic outline for a plot - like that one above - all one could suggest is to just try developing it from there - Trial & Error and Retry, y'know. :ami:
 
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Nov 9, 2016
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#3
Sound advice. I guess if I'm going the illustrated route, I should get as much of my storyline outlined as I can, because mistakes or corrections are going to be FAR more costly and time-consuming...

So I guess I'll start from the first major action-oriented chapter/act, though the story actually begins a bit earlier than that.

Main action starts toward the end of the Makai Tree arc.

Some more backstory

Prior to his suicide, Karasu was attacked by a Cardian and was saved by the Sailor Guardians. He ultimately took his own life out of frustration for his weakness, as well as the humiliation of being just another bystander that had to be rescued. After his reanimation, he trained in solitude for the next month.


Act 1(ish)

More of Ail and An's Cardians continue to become rogue, one fleeing to a block of unoccupied buildings. Having gone relatively unnoticed by the rest of the city, Dr. Tomoe sees this as a rare opportunity to capture and/or study the creature to further the organization's research projects, as well as a good opportunity to give Karasu a solid bit of actual field experience in an isolated and relatively controlled scenario, all before any other entities get involved.

Under the cover of night, Eudial drives Karasu--geared up and armed--to its last known location: a two-story business building (maybe a jewelry store just as a nod to Sailor Moon's first encounter). After rendezvousing with Iruka, a scout sniper who agrees to provide fire support from an adjacent building, Karasu heads in to confront the creature, under the directive to capture if possible.

While not nearly as one-sided as his previous encounter, Karasu still struggles hard against the rogue Cardian, though manages to inflict decent damage with his MP5. Ultimately, Karasu gives in and gives Iruka the order to open fire. The combined assault manages to severely wound the creature, finally forcing it to flee.

Infused with a new sense of confidence, Karasu pursues the Cardian, with Iruka comedically struggling to keep up from rooftop to rooftop. (Meanwhile, Eudial hangs back to clean up the mess and gather tissue and blood samples.) Finally cornering the creature in a park, Karasu engages in a close-quarter battle. After a hard struggle, he starts to gain the upper hand, until Iruka informs him of multiple bogeys inbound.

Cops? Nope...

In light of the information, Eudial gives the two the order to retreat, as the Death Busters are not yet ready to make their existence known, and they had already completed their secondary objective of acquiring samples. Karasu, however, becomes infuriated at the idea of being robbed of this opportunity for payback. After a deep, rage-fueled struggle with himself, Karasu is finally conviced to flee. He tosses a flashbang to stun the creature, and manages to slip away just moments before the Sailor Guardians arrive on scene.

The Guardians finish the creature with ease, though are left with questions as to who or what could have been able to damage it that much. Meanwhile, Karasu watches the conclusion from the backseat of Eudial's station wagon. Eudial admits that she obtained very little in terms of biological data, considering these creatures disintegrate upon death, along with any other vestiges. She nevertheless commends him on a good effort as they head back to the secret HQ.
 
Nov 9, 2016
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#4
Act 2

With the Revenants' weapons hookup is holed up in England, Eudial decides to organize an expedition to personally escort the next shipment. Being shorthanded, Karasu and Iruka are dragged along to provide backup.

Karasu stands by at Sendai Hill, as Eudial and Iruka arrive to pick him up in a "borrowed" bus. They drive off into a wormhole to another dimension, while Eudial explains how after the fall of the Dark Kingdom they managed to tap into their largely abandoned wormhole network.

They soon exit the wormhole, ending up in a strange alleyway. As they disembark the bus, they're approached by Kujira Shirai, the de facto arms supplier for the organization.

As they're loading the bus up, Kujira suddenly gets a tip of a large group converging on their location. At first he suspects the UK Special Forces, but--somewhat to his relief--realizes they're remnants of the Dark Agency, the England-based Dark Kingdom cell, most likely looking to expand their power using the Shirai clan's hidden arsenals.

Time short, they have to fend off the oncoming Dark Agency warriors and protect the bus until it's ready to leave.

TBC
 
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Aug 11, 2010
1,146
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#5
Interestingly, although I hadn't read the last one on that list before, it shows some strange and funny parallels to my own works:

However, at times she was a bit scary when she became 'Ami the teacher' and put aside being his girlfriend for the time being. She was a frighteningly effective teacher at that, making
Spoiler: show
Ranma
wonder if teaching could have been an alternative for her future. Recently she got into the habit of wearing her reading glasses all the time during study time, knowing very well what kind of effect it had on him.[...]
Spoiler: show
Ranma
for his part didn't know what about the sight disturbed him, since objectively she looked quite cute wearing these glasses.[...] Taking off her glasses, Ami blinked and then gave him a look. #By the way, how are your English skills?# she asked him in English.
Spoiler: show
Ranma
was caught on the wrong foot at this sudden change. #Not... yet... that good. Still need to...# He then stumbled when trying to find the next word.
She was beautiful. Beautiful in a girl-next-door sense.[...] Thankfully for
Spoiler: show
Ranma's
nerves, this state of nudity only lasted mere three seconds, although it had seemed much longer to him. [...]Ami squealed in surprise when suddenly he threw her over his right shoulder, while grabbing their bags with the left. It wasn't the most dignified position for her, but right now
Spoiler: show
Ranma
had little choice and he just tried not to look at her close-by butt. Running up the stairs to the roof, already hearing someone at the entrance door, he quickly jumped off to the next one, wanting to get distance between them and the police. He knew Ami was not taking his roofjumping well when hearing her scream of terror after the first jump, but he had little choice. He would comfort her once they were at a safe distance.
Two dozen roofs later, he gently sat her down. She was still shivering from the whole thing, additionally to how scared she already was. Finally she looked at him. [...]He could already see the tears in her eyes. If there was one thing he was weak against, it was crying girls.
Even at the risk of repeating myself: Aaaawwww. ♥♥♥♥ Guess, some jokes seem to never get old. ^_^
 
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Nov 9, 2016
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#6
Not sure why, but the upcoming of the latest Modern Warfare entry has gotten me excited to write/draw again. lol

Side-note: I'm debating whether to keep this a simple fanfiction or turn it into something completely original. The Sailors themselves play a very minimal role and could easily be swapped out for cookie-cutter original clones, and the majority of my central cast are original characters anyway. On one hand, an original story means I wouldn't have to be tied down to the timelines, rules, and lore of the Sailor Moon world. On the other hand, it would mean having to create a whole array of new characters, especially antagonists, which is a daunting task for me considering the amount of time and effort it took to flesh out just the ones I have.

But any rate, continuing on with my synopses. :)


Act 3

The crew is now caught in a high-speed chase on a long stretch of highway, with Karasu and Kujira forced to defend the bus from both the Dark Agency and converging police forces. After valiantly repelling them, Eudial finally manages to engage the onboard wormhole generator, allowing them to make their escape into a pocket dimension.

However, they soon come to realize that they had been intercepted, and now find themselves under siege by a pair of powerful irregular youma. With the wormhole generator acting up, Karasu and Kujira scramble to defend the bus and the supplies. As Kujira pauses to gear up, Eudial engages one solo, while Karasu fights the other.

Karasu engages in a medium-range shootout with his opponent, but is easily pinned out by enemy projectiles. Finally, Kujira steps out, casually sliding a grenade shell into his assault rifle's underslung launcher. He blasted the youma with a pair of skillfully swapped grenade shells before drilling it with assault rifle fire. Kujira carefully approached the downed youma, only for it to suddenly strike with needle-like projectiles, skewering Kujira in the gut and throat, presumably killing him.

Now alone and low on ammo, Karasu made a mad rush at the youma, peppering it with his handgun as he closed in for flurry of slashes from his combat knife. However, the youma shrugged off the attacks with relative ease. They continued to brawl, both inflicting considerable damage to each other. However, despite the regeneration factor afforded by Karasu's Revenant physiology, the youma's superior natural resilience eventually proved too much to overcome.

Just as Karasu was just about at his limit, he suddenly heard a shuffle behind him. He turned around to see Kujira's body slowly begin to stand itself upright. Kujira's veins glowed like magma as he pulled the sharp spines out of his body. It was at this point Karasu realized that Kujira was in fact another Revenant like he was.

Now a 2-on-1 fight, Karasu and Kujira set aside their differences to quickly overwhelm the youma, shredding it apart with a mix of gunfire, knife strikes, and even barehanded melee. Once the youma was weakened enough, they struck its key vital areas to finish it off. Around this time, Eudial had also dealt with her opponent, allowing the three to finally regroup and resume their trip home.

-

So, this chapter's clearly a lot more fleshed out in my mind than most of the others. It's also obviously meant to parallel Sailor Mars' introduction. Kujira is intended to be Karasu's lancer of sorts, as I'm hoping not to end up with Mary Sues out the ass. The idea is for them to have a bitter rivalry, and although Karasu is angry and a little hate-filled, Kujira is not only more violence-prone, but a lot more experienced in the conventional criminal world as well as this supernatural underworld that they're now a part of.