[Rewrite] Sailor Moon X - Fan Season

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noildoof

Solaris Luna
Feb 1, 2011
2,179
198
165
#1
This is a rewrite I'm doing of a very, very old (I'm talking late 90's) Sailor Moon fan season, Sailor Moon X. Sailor Moon X and its related fan season, Sailor Moon E, were actually pretty popular back in the early days of the internet. While I loved Sailor Moon X as a kid, the writing... has not aged well, to put it lightly.

Since the project is over 20 years old and was abandoned around the year 2000, I don't think anyone will care if I rewrite it. It's something that holds a lot of sentimental, nostalgic value to me, and I'm not doing this out of malice but instead out of fondness.

You can read the original Sailor Moon X series here. It was meant to take place after the Makaiju arc. I plan on rewriting episodes 1-14 (or rather 1-15.) For some reason, my personal files of the fanfic (which I've had forever) have an extra episode missing from the site, and I know for sure I didn't write it.

I'm writing this as a script, it's the easiest and fastest way for me to get something out. If you see any continuity/canon errors in my rewrite, please let me know and I'll fix it. I haven't watched the anime in a while, and Sailor Moon R is the season I'm least familiar with.

[Rewrite] Sailor Moon X Episode 1: Dark Force Rising

Spoiler: show

[SCENE: A bright, sunny day. Some scenery shots of happy people in the park, kids playing, couples strolling. Usagi and Mamoru walk together, holding hands, smiling and looking slightly bashful. They reach a large pond in the park, and stand in the center of a large bridge arching over it, looking over the sparkling water.]

Usagi: It's so peaceful... After fighting the Dark Kingdom and then the Makaiju, I'd almost forgotten what this felt like. Everything's been changing so fast!

Mamoru: It has, but it's nice to be able to slow down now and enjoy life.

Usagi: Yeah... and I'm glad I'm able to enjoy it with you...

[Usagi looks at Mamoru starry-eyed. She stands on her toes and Mamoru bends over, and they share a tender kiss as the wind gently blows]


[OPENING CREDITS]


[SCENE: A dark, underground chamber. Lanterns eerily light the space from the walls. In the center is a raised pool of black water. Six ill-defined silhouettes kneel around the pool, seemingly deep in meditation, waiting for something. Steam begins to rise from the water, and it takes on a vaguely humanoid form with glowing eyes. The steams glows a dim red, and above his eyes are two horns. One of the figures sitting around the pool rises and steps closer. Illuminated by the steam, he appears to be wearing something akin to a ninja's outfit, but in red. His entire body is covered, none of his face is visible.]

Akai-oni (red ninja/Oni Master): Lord Hades, it is an honor to be summoned by you once more. For centuries, we of the Oni Clan have awaited a sign from you.

Hades: My faithful servants, after eons of slumber, the time is ripe for my resurrection. I require energy for my new body, and I have never seen such a surge of it among the humans before. Oni Master! With the power I have granted you, I entrust you will collect this energy.

Akai-oni: I would be honored, my lord.

Hades: Keep in mind, though... only pure, positive energy will suffice. Choose your targets wisely.

Akai-oni: Understood.

[Akai-oni leaves the chamber.]

Hades: The rest of you, prepare the energy chamber. There is no time to waste!


[SCENE: Rei's room at the temple. Everyone except Usagi sits around the table, waiting for her to show up. Minako is reading a Sailor V manga, and Ami is studying.]

Rei: Ugh, Usagi is late again! She's so irresponsible... how long could a date possibly take?! We really need to discuss what we're going to do now that the Makaiju's defeated.

Minako (offhandedly): We could become private detectives and stop the Yakuza...

Makoto: That sounds scary... I'd rather face the Dark Kingdom again. Hey wait, isn't that a plotline from the Sailor V manga?

[Minako looks sheepish and gives a goofy smile]

Ami: I don't think we need to worry about fighting right now, things seem pretty calm. I wouldn't worry too much, Rei.

Rei: Still, it's always good to be vigilant.

Ami: That's true, but it won't be hard to be vigilant and focus on our studies at the same time.

Minako: I don't want to study! We just got done fighting the Makaiju, I need a break!


[SCENE: Usagi and Mamoru are at the edge of the park, Usagi has a balloon, some flowers, and a snack. There's an ice cream cart nearby on the sidewalk.]

Usagi: Mamo-chan, you're so sweet!

[Usagi looks very pleased and squishes the flower bouquet to her chest like it was a teddy bear.]

Mamoru: (slightly flustered) A-ah, I'm glad you like them.

[Usagi sees the ice cream cart and gasps. She puts on a sweet, pouty puppy-dog face and looks up at Mamoru.]

Usagi: Maaaaaamo-chan~?

Mamoru: Ha ha, okay, okay. I'll get you an ice cream.

Usagi: Yaaaay! Thank you, Mamo-chan!

[Hidden in the branches of a large tree nearby is Akai-oni, watching Usagi and Mamoru]


Akai-oni: What a sweet couple... and what a generous lover he is! A perfect target.


[SCENE: In Rei's room, Minako and Makoto are sitting on the floor, playing a Sailor V video game. Ami is lying on the floor studying, and Rei has been sitting at the table reading and drinking tea. She looks annoyed.]

Rei: She's not coming at all, is she? I swear, we need to put that girl on a leash and drag her here.

Ami: Normally you'd be right, but... can't we go easy on her this time? We're not fighting anyone, and it's been hard for Usagi to spend time with Mamoru up until now.

Rei: (sighs) Yeah, you're right... I'm just frustrated. She said she'd be here, and we've been waiting all afternoon.

[Minako has won the Sailor V game, and Makoto has an utterly defeated expression. Minako turns around to face Rei.]

Minako: Let's just forget about the meeting for today, we all deserve a break. Anyone want to go window shopping?

Makoto: As long as it's not a rematch...

Rei: Well, why not, it's not we're doing anything important here.

[They get up to leave and Minako has to half-drag Ami out.]

Ami: W-wait! I only have two more questions to answer, and I'll be four chapters ahead!



[SCENE: Usagi and Mamoru are walking down the sidewalk, Usagi still holding the flowers and balloon, but the snack and ice cream are gone. Motoki is walking towards them and waves hello.]

Motoki: Hey, Usagi! Mamoru! How are you guys doing?

Usagi: Just great! We were out on a date!

[Mamoru looks really flustered, but Motoki doesn't skip a beat.]

Motoki: Really? That's great! You're a lucky guy, Mamoru! (winks)

Mamoru: (sheepish) Y-yeah...

Motoki: I'm headed back to the arcade, do you two want to come along?

Usagi: Yeah, that sounds fun!

Mamoru: Ah! I just remembered. Usagi, don't you have to meet Rei and the others today?

[Usagi looks absolutely mortified]

Usagi: I... uh... forgot all about that!

[Usagi starts to panic and grabs Mamoru's hand, yanking him along the way]

Usagi: Rei's gonna be soooooo mad at me!! She's gonna yell at me and scold me and... (ranting fades into the distance as she high-tails it)

Motoki: A-ah... okay, see you later then...

[Just after Usagi, Mamoru, and Motoki leave, Rei and the other turn a corner and end up on the same sidewalk.]

Makoto: Where should we go first?

Minako: Oh! How about we get some ice cream, and then go to the arcade!

Rei: Sounds good to me.

Makoto: As long as I don't have to play against Minako again...


[SCENE: Usagi and Mamoru are at the temple, and Yuichiro is sweeping the walkways. Hiding behind a tree is Akai-oni.]

Akai-oni (from hiding place): I need to get them alone... it's important not to attract attention if I can help it.

Usagi: (panting from running) Where's Rei?!

Yuichiro: Oh, she's not here right now. Everyone left a while ago... Rei looked really annoyed.

Usagi: I'm... I'm dead...

Yuichiro: (chuckles nervously) Well, you can wait here for Rei if you'd like.

Usagi: (looking defeated) O-okay...

Yuichiro: Well, uh, let me know if you need anything.

[Yuichiro awkwardly walks off to sweep elsewhere]

Akai-oni (from hiding place): Finally, now's my chance!


[COMMERCIAL BREAK]


[SCENE: Rei and the girls arrive at the arcade. Motoki is there and comes over to greet them.]

Motoki: Hi everyone! That must've been a fast meeting!

Minako: How'd you know about our meeting today?

Motoki: Ah! I ran into Usagi and Mamoru today, they said they had to run to a meeting with you guys.

Rei: What?! NOW she decides to go to the meeting? I swear... Come on, she's probably waiting at the temple.

Ami: I did say we should keep studying...


[SCENE: Usagi and Mamoru are waiting at the temple]

Usagi: I do feel bad for missing the meeting... I just really wanted a break...

Mamoru: I'm sure if you explain it to Rei she'll understand. Just try to not to make it a habit.

[Mamoru feels uneasy, like someone is watching them. He looks around but sees no one.]

Usagi: Mamo-chan...?

Mamoru: Someone's here.

Usagi. What-?

[Suddenly, Akai-oni jumps from the roof of the shrine, landing in front of Mamoru. He does a sweeping kick under Mamoru's ankle that causes him to fall.]

Usagi: Mamoru!!

[Usagi runs to Mamoru, but Akai-oni throws a small bomb at her, throwing her back into the nearby trees. Mamoru quickly jumps to his feet and runs at Akai-oni, but Akai-oni dodges him and uses Mamoru's own weight to push him to the ground.]

Mamoru: Who are you?!

[Akai-oni doesn't answer, but pulls out a long knife, but with a glowing, translucent blade. He walks towards Mamoru, preparing to strike. Watching from horror in the trees, Usagi gets to her feet and shouts "Moon Crystal Power, Make Up!"]

[Transformation Sequence]

[Akai-oni is about the sink the blade into Mamoru, but looks up as he suddenly hears Sailor Moon's voice.]


Sailor Moon: Stop right there! Ruining a young couple's afternoon stroll! Attacking an innocent, handsome stranger! And in a temple, no less? I'm Sailor Moon, and in the name of the moon, I'll punish you!

Akai-oni: A pretty speech, but no one gets in my way and lives!

[Akai-oni spins around, throwing multiple mini-bombs as Sailor Moon attempts to dodge them, yelling in fright. Smoke fills the air, temporarily blinding both Akai-oni and Sailor Moon. As it starts to clear, Akai-oni notices Mamoru is gone.]

Akai-oni: Eh? Where'd he go?

[A rose shoots through the air, landing at his feet. He looks surprised. From the roof of the shrine stands Tuxedo Mask.]

Tuxedo Mask: Those who tarnish sacred places and sacred love are not worthy of either.

Akai-oni: Pfft. My target got away, thanks to you two. Have fun playing with my familiar, Moriyami!

[Akai-oni vanishes in a puff of smoke, and is replaced by a red, feminine demon with leaves for hair and branches for horns. Sticking out of her skin are spike-like branches.]

Sailor Moon: What... what is that?!

[The monster lets out a guttural cry and charges at Sailor Moon, shooting out spike-branches from its arm towards her. She dodges them clumsily, until the monster's spikes catch on her skirt and pin her to a tree. The monster charges at her, and grips her throat, pinning it to the tree. Tuxedo Mask hits the monster from behind with his cane, and it's temporarily distracted, turning around and facing him, preparing to attack.]

Sailor Mars: Fire Soul!

[The fire hits the demon, causing it to scream in agony. Sailor Mars and the other senshi have finally arrived, and Sailor Mercury immediately goes to free Sailor Moon.]

Sailor Mercury: Are you okay?!

Sailor Moon: Yeah!

[The monster, realizing Sailor Moon is free now, is about to charge back toward her, but Sailor Jupiter attacks.]

Sailor Jupiter: Supreme Thunder!

Sailor Venus: Now, Sailor Moon!

Sailor Moon: Right! Moon Princess Halation!

[The monster is dusted, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief. After a moment, Sailor Mars realizes how much damage was done to the temple.]

Sailor Mars: Ahhh! The temple's half destroyed! This'll take forever to fix...

[Sailor Moon has a concerned look on her face, and seems to be staring into the distance.]


[SCENE: Nighttime, at Usagi's house. Her room is dark, and she's in bed, looking at the moon through the window.]

Usagi: Hey, Luna...

Luna: Hmm?

Usagi: Do you think we'll... ever truly be at peace?

Luna: It's hard to say, Usagi. But fighting is part of being a Sailor Senshi. Someone has to protect everyone, and that someone is you.

Usagi: Yeah... I DO want to protect them. I WILL protect them. Everyone I love...

Luna: We'll try to learn more about this new enemy tomorrow. For now, you should get some rest.

Usagi: (smiling softly) Goodnight, Luna. And thanks.


[END CREDITS]
 
Likes: Onuzim Ima

Onuzim Ima

Aurorae Lunares
Aug 11, 2010
1,823
816
665
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Germany
#2
@noildoof I liked how you remembered :ami:'s Stammering Habit. :wink:

I also immediately heard :luna:'s lines in a snobby, British Nanny Voice. (Oosagi! Pay moar Attensheon!) :keke: Can't wait for the next chapter.

UPDATE: I can already somewhat see the Animation before my eyes.
 
Last edited:
Likes: noildoof

noildoof

Solaris Luna
Feb 1, 2011
2,179
198
165
#3
Haha, thanks! Glad you're enjoying it so far. The first few episodes shouldn't be too challenging to rewrite, though I'm going to have to heavily alter the Disneyland episode. :P I can imagine a Disneyland parody being in Sailor Moon, but there's no way Toei would've ever put anything directly owned by The Mouse in there.

The later episodes are going to be more challenging though... I have a somewhat different ending in mind than the original, mostly to make Sailor X less Sue-ish and put some spotlight back on Sailor Moon.
 
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noildoof

Solaris Luna
Feb 1, 2011
2,179
198
165
#4
New episode! This is a more major rewrite than the last one. I have no idea if Japan has anything akin to soup kitchens like we do in the US, so I changed it to a cooking class. Instead of all the enemies essentially being ninjas, I've added a monster-of-the-day class called Familiars.

[Rewrite] Sailor Moon X Episode 2: Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire

Spoiler: show

2. Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire

[SCENE: In the dark, underground chamber, the six ill-defined figures once
again kneel around dark pool, deep in meditation. Steam rises from the
black water, morphing into the dim reddish glowing form of Hades. Akai-oni
steps forward from the shadows.]

Hades: Your mission did not go so well, did it, Oni Master?

Akai-oni: Forgive me, Lord Hades. There was an unexpected interruption... a
girl calling herself "Sailor Moon" interfered. I left Moriyami to take care
of her, but Moriyami was apparently defeated... she did not return when
called upon.

Hades: (gains a look of sudden realization) Sailor Moon, you say? I heard
of a Sailor Moon, but it was so long ago... And now the guardian of the
Moon Kingdom has returned.

Akai-oni: It would appear so. If I may, Lord Hades, I have a plan. This
time, we will be ready for Sailor Moon's arrival.

Hades: I leave it up to you, Oni Master. Do not disappoint me.


[OPENING CREDITS]


[SCENE: The girls, cats, and Mamoru are meeting at Rei's place to discuss
the events from the previous day.]

Luna: Hmm, so he didn't say who he was or who he was working for?

Usagi: No, he just came out of nowhere!

Mamoru: He tried to stab me, but it wasn't an ordinary knife.

Artemis: Whoever he is, he's definitely trouble.

Minako: We should try to stay close together, at least until we figure out
what's going on.

Ami: Right. From what you said, Usagi, it sounds like he was trying to get
you and Mamoru alone before attacking.

Usagi: Sounds good to me!

[Usagi snuggles up against an awkward-looking Mamoru.]

Rei: Be serious, Usagi! This isn't just so you can cuddle Mamoru all day!

[Usagi teasingly sticks her tongue out at Rei. Rei does the same back.]

Makoto: Ah! I almost forgot, I have a cooking class to attend today!

Usagi: Why do you need to go to cooking class? You're already a great cook!

Makoto: Thanks, but there's still things I need to learn. This class
teaches techniques I haven't used yet.

Ami: But shouldn't we stay together as much as possible? You'd be going
there alone...

Makoto: Why don't you all come with me? The class is free, and I'm sure the
instructor won't mind. He's really patient.

Rei: Why not? It could be fun to learn a new skill.


[SCENE: The bus arrives at the center the class is being held at, and
everyone gets off and goes inside. An older, friendly, slightly chubby man
in a chef's outfit greets them inside.]

Saito: Makoto! Good to see you back. Oh, and I see you've brought some
friends?

Makoto: Good afternoon, Saito-sensei! This is Usagi, Mamoru, Ami, Rei, and
Minako. Is it okay if they join today's class?

Saito: Of course, of course! There aren't too many people here today.
Please, follow me.

[As they leave to enter the next room, eyes glow from the airvent in the
background. Zooming in it's Akai-oni, watching.]

Akai-oni: Such a patient, considerate man... he'll do nicely as a target.


[SCENE: Everyone is in a large, open kitchen with a few tables in the
center of the room. There are a few other people besides Saito and the main
group, but it's not very crowded overall. People in aprons are listening to
Saito explain what to do, and he walks around the room to give advice and
see if anyone needs help.]

Saito: Good work, Makoto! You've picked this up very fast.

Makoto: Thanks, sensei!

Ami: (reading through a cookbook) When you think about it, cooking is a lot
like chemistry! You mix different substances together to make something
new.

[Usagi is carrying a big bag of flour across the room to her table, but it
leaks from the corner, leaving a trail behind her that Mamoru attempts to
clean up. Usagi slips on a small puddle of water, and falls onto Rei, who
gets covered with flour as the bag bursts.]

Rei: Usagi!! You need to be more careful and watch where you're going!

Usagi: Ahhhh! I'm so sorry Rei, I didn't mean to!

Makoto: (looking flustered, trying to defuse the situation) Usagi, why
don't you and Mamoru go downstairs to get more flour?

Rei: Why does Mamoru need to go?

Makoto: (leaning down and whispering) To make sure she doesn't have another
accident.

Saito: Oh, not to worry, accidents happen! The storage room is right down
the hall, down the stairs. The flour should be on the middle shelf in the
back.

Mamoru: Thank you, we'll be right back.


[SCENE: Usagi and Mamoru walk down the hall and open the door leading to
the staircase. As soon as they shut the door behind them, Akai-oni comes
into frame and locks the door.]

Akai-oni: The fewer witnesses, the better.


[SCENE: Back in the kitchen, Rei has managed to clean herself up. Makoto is
almost done with her recipe, with Ami close behind. Minako isn't doing so
well, with a patient Saito encouraging her. Akai-oni watches from the
vents.]

Akai-oni: Still more witnesses than I would've liked... but at least I have
backup prepared this time.

[The room suddenly fills with smoke from Akai-oni's smoke bomb, and people
start coughing.]

Man #1: Is it a fire?!

Saito: Everyone evacuate!

Woman #1: Where's the exit?!

Woman #2: I can't see!!

[As the smoke clears, Akai-oni has cornered Saito and pulled out his long
dagger.]

Akai-oni: Your energy is mine!

[He stabs Saito with the dagger, and the blade begins to glow as it sucks
out his energy. People scream and run out of the room.]

Makoto: Guys, we have to do something!

Ami: Where's Usagi and Mamoru?

Makoto: I don't know, but there's no time to wait!

[The girls run out of the room into an empty hallway.]

[Transformation Sequences]

[Back in the kitchen, Akai-oni stands above Saito.]

Akai-oni: It should be any moment now...

Sailor Jupiter: Stop right there! Cooking is an expression of passion!

Sailor Mercury: And that passion can only be passed on through the most
caring of teachers!

Sailor Mars: Those who attack the sacred bond between a teacher and his
pupils...

Sailor Venus: Will face our ultimate punishment!


[COMMERCIAL BREAK]


Akai-oni: There's more of you?! Tch! This isn't how I'd planned things...

[Akai-oni pulls the dagger from Saito. Saito is still alive and no wound is
left, but he looks a bit paler.]

Akai-oni: Agemono! Yakimono! Take care of things for me, will you?

[Akai-oni vanishes in a cloud of smoke, and standing in his place are two
Familiars, one male and one female. They both have pots on their heads as
hats, and the female one has a bra made of two potlids. They wear "skirts"
made out of large lettuce leaves. They both have yellowish skin, and stand
on stilt-like calves made of chopsticks.]

Agemono (the female one): Good afternoon class!

Yakimono (the male one): Are you ready to learn the newest deep-frying
technique?

[Agemono and Yakimono open their mouth wide and shoot boiling hot oil at
the senshi which they narrowly avoid. The oil bubbles and partially melts
the floor and walls where it lands.]

Sailor Mars: We could really use Sailor Moon right about now! FIRE SOUL!

[Agemono and Yakimono dodge the attack.]

Yakimono: Ooooh! An open flame technique, how exciting!

[Sailor Jupiter attempts to surprise attack Agemono from behind, but
Agemono flips her and kicks her into a wall so hard it cracks.]


[SCENE: Usagi and Mamoru are locked in the basement, and are trying to get
out.]

Usagi: I can believe I locked the door behind us!

Mamoru: Don't worry, I'm sure someone will come looking.

[They hear Mars yell "Fire Soul"]

Usagi: They're in trouble!

[Transformation Sequence]

[They hear Jupiter hit the wall]

Sailor Moon: We have to help them!

Tuxedo Mask: Stand back!

[He rams the door, busting it open.]


[SCENE: Back in the kitchen, the senshi are still fighting Agemono and
Yakimono.]

Agemono: It's almost time for the big flambe!

[Agemono opens her mouth wide and inhales deeply, as though about to spew a
stream of fire or oil from it. She suddenly deflates upon hearing a voice.]

Sailor Moon: Stop right there! How dare you attack a group of student chefs
following their passion! Such a thing can never be forgiven! I'm Sailor
Moon, and in the name of the moon, you're punishes!

Agemono: How lovely, another dinner guest!

[Agemono opens her mouth wide and spews a stream of fire towards Sailor
Moon, which she narrowly and clumsily dodges.]

Sailor Mercury: Maybe this will cool them down! SHABON SPRAY!

[The room fills with fog, and the Familiars can't see a thing.]

Yakimono: Where did our guests go?

Agemono: We were having such a good time entertaining them!

Sailor Venus: CRESCENT BEAM!

[From out of the fog a beam of light strikes Agemono, she screams and is
injured.]

Yakimono: Agemono!!

Sailor Jupiter: SUPREME THUNDER!

[As the fog begins to clear, lightning hits Yakimono, and he shouts in
pain.]

Tuxedo Mask: Now, Sailor Moon!

Sailor Moon: Right! MOON PRINCESS HALATION!

[Agemono and Yakimono shriek as they turn to moondust. Sailor Moon deflates
in relief, before Sailor Jupiter suddenly remembers Saito and runs toward
him.]

Sailor Jupiter: Saito-sensei! Saito-sensei, can you hear me?!

[Saito groans but doesn't wake up.]

Sailor Jupiter: We need to call an ambulance!


[SCENE: Back in their civilian forms, the girls and Mamoru watch as a
stretcher loads Saito into an ambulance. A firetruck is also nearby.]

Medic: He should be okay, but it's best to get him checked out. That was a
pretty serious kitchen fire, it's a miracle no one else was hurt.

Makoto: Thank you. Could I visit him later, if he has to stay in the
hospital?

Medic: I'll let him know you asked, it shouldn't be a problem if he says
it's okay.

[The ambulance drives off, and the girls start walking to the bus stop.]

Makoto: This is getting serious...

Rei: Now we know he's after energy, though.

Usagi: But for what reason...?

[The camera zooms out and fades to black.]


[END CREDITS]
 
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noildoof

Solaris Luna
Feb 1, 2011
2,179
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#5
Third episode! Another major rewrite. I thought it would be too big of a coincidence for Usagi, Rei, and Minako's schools to ALL show up at the same location, on the same day, for a fieldtrip. So it became just Usagi's school, and Rei and Minako aren't in this episode. I actually had to do research for this one: Tokyo Tower really does have 5 restaurants and a food court, as well as an aquarium (and some of the tanks actually are way too small). ^_^'

[Rewrite] Sailor Moon X Episode 3: Tokyo Tower of Terror

Spoiler: show

3. Tokyo Tower of Terror

[SCENE: In the dark underground chamber, six silhouetted figures kneel
around the dark pool of water in meditation. Vapor rises from the water,
taking on the reddish form of Hades. Akai-oni steps forward, meekly and
hesitantly.]

Hades: I thought I made it clear to you: Do not disappoint me. What use do
I have of an Oni Master who repeatedly fails me? The only reason I haven't
disposed of you is that you managed to retrieve some energy this time.

Akai-Oni: Lord Hades, you are most merciful! Sailor Moon didn't even appear
this time. If it hadn't been for the other Sailor Senshi-

Hades: (in angry surprise) More Sailor Senshi?!

Akai-oni: Yes, my Lord. They called themselves Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars,
Sailor Jupiter, and Sailor Venus.

Hades: These Sailor Senshi are proving to be very troublesome...

Akai-oni: Indeed, my Lord. However, I have a new plan in mind to dispose of
them and collect some energy at the same time.

Hades: I see... very well, then. You may proceed.


[OPENING CREDITS]


[SCENE: A sunny, lightly cloudy day at Juban Public Middle School. Miss
Haruna is herding her students onto a bus for a field trip. Usagi, Ami, and
Makoto are in the back of the line to get on the bus.]

Makoto: Mmm, I don't know what I'm going to do when we get to Tokyo
Tower... I've already been there. But I guess it's better than having to do
schoolwork.

Ami: You have? What's it like?

[Before Makoto can answer, a burst of laughter comes from Usagi, who is
reading a Sailor V manga while standing behind Makoto and Ami. Makoto and
Ami exchange awkward, mildly embarrassed looks.]

Usagi: This chapter is so funny!!

[Ami boards the bus, and sees that the driver is a large, dirty, wall-eyed
man missing most of his teeth. He gives her a blank stare, and she
awkwardly waves hello, looking nervous and slightly scared. The driver
doesn't move, except to give a slow, unnerving thumbs-up. Makoto boards
next, and having seen what Ami went through, makes a dash past the driver
for her seat. Usagi, still reading the manga and laughing, boards last. The
driver grabs the manga and takes a bite from the corner like it was a
sandwich, then returns it to Usagi like nothing happened. A shocked Usagi
takes her seat next to Naru.]

Usagi: (looking defeated) Rei's gonna kill me... she'll never let me borrow
her manga again...

[Montage of the bus passing various points in the city, until it finally
reaches its destination at Tokyo Tower. The students get off the bus, and
Usagi, Makoto, and Ami look up at the tower.]

Makoto: It's actually more impressive than I remember!

Ami: Maybe this trip will be more interesting to you after all!

Usagi: Ah, I just hope there's a good restaurant inside... maybe with a
romantic view!

[Miss Haruna speaks to her class.]

Miss Haruna: Now everyone, remember to keep track of the time! We'll all
meet back here in front of the main entrance in three hours. And if you see
something that interests you, make note of it - You'll be writing a paper
on your experience here today.

[The class disperses, the students going inside to see the different
attractions. Makoto picks up a brochure from a kiosk.]

Makoto: Oh, there's also more to do here than I remember! Or maybe some of
this is new?


Ami: (Looking over Makoto's shoulder) They have an aquarium?

Usagi: (Also looking over Makoto's shoulder, starting to drool) Five
restaurants and a food court...

Ami: (flustered) A-ah, it's not lunch time yet...

Makoto: Let's see the aquarium first, okay?

Usagi: Oh, okay.

[The group walks to the aquarium on the first floor, and Usagi immediately
runs off to gape at different unusual fish in wonder. Ami and Makoto stay
together. Makoto catches Ami looking sullenly at a large fish in a tank
that looks too small for it.]

Makoto: Is something wrong, Ami?

Ami: This will sound silly, but... sometimes I feel like the fish in that
tank.

Makoto: What do you mean?

Ami: There were things I wanted to do with my life before I became a Sailor
Senshi... I wanted to study to be a doctor. But I had to fight the Dark
Kingdom, and then the Makaiju... I thought after we defeated the Makaiju,
that things could finally get back to normal and I could be free to live my
life. But with this new enemy, I wonder if we'll ever truly be at peace.

Makoto: You feel trapped.

Ami: It sounds so selfish, doesn't it...

Makoto: Not at all. I think we all wish we could be in charge of our own
lives. But we have a duty as Sailor Senshi to uphold.

[Usagi giggles in the distance as she looks at some odd fish in a tank.]

Ami: How does Usagi do it? How can she be so carefree?

Makoto: (gives a small laugh) Ah, because she's Usagi! She has a way of
cheering everyone up. But I know on the inside she's worried like the rest
of us.

[Usagi runs back over to Makoto and Ami with a big smile on her face.]

Usagi: Ami, Mako! Did you see the eels over there?

Ami: (gives a genuine smile and a giggle) No, not yet, why don't you show
me?


[SCENE: On one of the observation decks, a few people are lying on the
ground, unconscious. Akai-oni is holding his dagger, glowing a strong
blue.]

Akai-oni: That should be enough to attract them.


[COMMERCIAL BREAK]


[SCENE: Usagi, Ami, and Makoto are running toward the elevator to the
observation deck. Umino and Naru have gotten on the elevator, but it closes
before the group can reach it.]

Usagi: Aww, we almost got there in time!

Ami: (gesturing to a small sign that says "This observation deck closed for
repairs) Oh, they must not have seen the sign...

Makoto: We'd better get them, just to make sure they don't get in trouble.

[The groups gets on the elevator once it comes back down.]


[SCENE: Umino and Naru have arrived at the observation deck and walk
around. They look around nervously.]

Naru: Where is everyone...?

Umino: Maybe they cleared it just for our class!

[Naru sees the unconscious people and shrieks.]

Naru: U-umino!

[A deep laugh fills the room.]

Umino: Whoever's there, come out!

[Akai-oni jumps out of the shadows and slashes Umino and Naru with his
blade, and Naru screams.]


[SCENE: Usagi, Ami, and Makoto are on the elevator when they hear Naru
scream.]

Usagi: Naru's in trouble!

Ami: Everyone transform!

[Transformation Sequences]

[Akai-oni stand over the unconscious forms of Naru and Umino, and the
elevator opens near him. As it opens, the silhouettes of Sailor Moon,
Sailor Mercury, and Sailor Jupiter are seen posing.]

Sailor Moon: The sights, the attractions, and the delicious food! Hurting
innocent tourists is unforgiveable! I'm Sailor Moon!

Sailor Mercury: Sailor Mercury!

Sailor Jupiter: Sailor Jupiter!

Sailor Moon: And in the name of the moon...

All Three: We'll punish you!

Akai-oni: Ah, Sailor Senshi, you've finally arrived! Well, I have enough
energy for now, so I'll leave my Familiar Wavelength to deal with you!

[Akai-oni disappears in a puff of smoke, leaving behind a Familiar in his
stead. Wavelength has a bluish female body, with short white hair and
satellite dishes for ears. She has radio antennae sticking out of her head,
and she wears a small silvery low-cut minidress.]

Wavelength: Good evening listeners, this is your host Wavelength speaking!
Looks like our weather forecast includes an unexpected thunder shower!

[Wavelength shoots electricity from her fingertips, and the senshi barely
dodge it. The electricity explodes into the wall, leaving behind intense
damage.]

Sailor Jupiter: Electricity, huh? Two can play at that game! SUPREME
THUNDER!

[Wavelength dodges the attack, and Jupiter's attack instead blows out the
windows behind her.]

Sailor Mercury: Careful! We can't do too much damage here, we're up too
high!

Wavelength: How about some of the latest hits? This one will really blow
you away!

[Powerful sonic pulses emit from Wavelength's satellite dishes, knocking
the senshi back into an unbroken window, which starts to crack behind
them.]

Sailor Moon: It's breaking!!

Sailor Mercury: SHABON SPRAY!

[The deck fills with fog, and Wavelength starts to shiver.]

Wavelength: N-normally the w-weather doesn't affect our broadcasts...

[Sailor Jupiter sneaks up on Wavelength and body-slams her. Wavelength gets
up, and as the fog starts to clear sees Sailor Mercury not too far away.
She charges at Sailor Mercury, who dodges at the last minute - and
Wavelength tumbles right out the broken window behind her, gripping the
ledge just before tumbling to her death. She dangles there, barely holding
on.]

Wavelength: (desperately) Master Oni, please help me!

Sailor Mercury: Now, Sailor Moon!

Sailor Moon: Right! MOON PRINCESS HALATION!

[Wavelength is moondusted, and the senshi go to make sure the unconscious
people are okay.]

Sailor Jupiter: It's just like with Saito-sensei.

Sailor Mercury: We need to get help!


[SCENE: In the lobby, stretchers are carrying out Umino and Naru. The class
has reconvened, led by a worried-looking Miss Haruna.]

Usagi: Are Naru and Umino going to be okay?

Miss Haruna: The doctors said everyone would be fine, the electrical
explosion just... took a lot out of them. I'm just glad it wasn't more
serious. (facing the class) Okay, everyone! Back to the bus. We're going to
have to end this trip early.


[SCENE: Usagi, Makoto, and Ami are sitting in the back of the bus.]

Makoto: It seems like they were clearly after us this time.

Ami: Right. And Wavelength mentioned someone called "Master Oni."

Usagi: Do you think he's the red ninja-looking guy?

Makoto: Maybe... We should definitely consult Luna and Artemis on this one.

Ami: I'm getting worried about where all this is going.

Usagi: It'll be okay, Ami! We're in this together.

Ami: (smiling) That's true, isn't it?


[END CREDITS]
 
Likes: Onuzim Ima

Onuzim Ima

Aurorae Lunares
Aug 11, 2010
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#6
@noildoof Tee hee… :rei:'s gonna kill :usagi: for sure. :happy: Maybe she should lock her precious Manga away in a secret place and seal it with a bucketload of Ofudas to make sure nobody else can touch them ever again?
 
Likes: noildoof

noildoof

Solaris Luna
Feb 1, 2011
2,179
198
165
#7
@noildoof Tee hee… :rei:'s gonna kill :usagi: for sure. :happy: Maybe she should lock her precious Manga away in a secret place and seal it with a bucketload of Ofudas to make sure nobody else can touch them ever again?
Oh, definitely! :lol: That scene is actually almost exactly the same as in the original fanfic, I kept it in because it was so dang funny.

In the original version the driver had a bucket of American-style fried chicken in his lap, but that's not something people in Japan really eat on a regular, casual basis (it's also specifically something associated with Christmas, through KFC's unusual marketing history in Japan). Maybe the driver was just extra hungry in the rewrite. :P:cookie:
 

Nadia

Aurorae Lunares
Jun 30, 2010
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#8
Actually, I'm glad you linked to the original fanfic because I miss old dub fanfic. If I were to ever return to my old fanfic series, I could never port it over to the Japanese version because my work was set in the Americanized world of the dub and depended upon the characterizations and humor contained within. Simply replacing Serena with Usagi wouldn't work.

It's strange because I thought this Sailor X story was the one I was a fan of back in the day, but upon skimming it, I'm not sure it's the same. The Sailor X story I read had the call phrase "X Orbit Power!" or "X Orbit Power, Make Up!" I think that one was set after the entire series as well, since the Outers were in it. (I remember one scene where Hotaru tried to drive but couldn't because her feet couldn't reach the gas or brake pedal or something, while in another, the civilian form of Sailor X was stricken with food poisoning or something by the enemy that cramped her stomach and she had to transform). Or maybe this is that story and I should read it?

I think I answered my own question.
 
Last edited:

noildoof

Solaris Luna
Feb 1, 2011
2,179
198
165
#9
Actually, I'm glad you linked to the original fanfic because I miss old dub fanfic. If I were to ever return to my old fanfic series, I could never port it over to the Japanese version because my work was set in the Americanized world of the dub and depended upon the characterizations and humor contained within. Simply replacing Serena with Usagi wouldn't work.

It's strange because I thought this Sailor X story was the one I was a fan of back in the day, but upon skimming it, I'm not sure it's the same. The Sailor X story I read had the call phrase "X Orbit Power!" or "X Orbit Power, Make Up!" I think that one was set after the entire series as well, since the Outers were in it. (I remember one scene where Hotaru tried to drive but couldn't because her feet couldn't reach the gas or the break or something, while in another, the civilian form of Sailor X was stricken with food poisoning or something by the enemy that cramped her stomach and she had to transform). Or maybe this is that story and I should read it?

I think I answered my own question.
You're definitely thinking of something different, this story takes place right after the Makaiju arc, so there's no Outers in it. Sailor X's transformation in this one is "X Nova Power." I'm curious about the fanfic you're talking about, though. Do you have a link?
 

Nadia

Aurorae Lunares
Jun 30, 2010
1,831
1,331
1,665
www.smcx.me
#10
You're definitely thinking of something different, this story takes place right after the Makaiju arc, so there's no Outers in it. Sailor X's transformation in this one is "X Nova Power." I'm curious about the fanfic you're talking about, though. Do you have a link?
No, I don't have a link, which is why I was hopeful this was the long lost fanfic. It was one of those fanfics stored on one of those fan fiction sites that were all the rage before fanfiction.net was even a thought (The site had a midi of Final Fantasy VII's battle theme playing, and the only other fanfic I can remember from that site was an X-Men vs. Sailor Moon crossover that took place during the Rainbow Crystals arc, but then because people started complaining that the person was using the dub as they base, the author changed the story to start making it more like the Japanese version).

I should read this one, though. (looks in mirror) Self, don't be lazy.
 

noildoof

Solaris Luna
Feb 1, 2011
2,179
198
165
#11
Really sorry for basically abandoning this for several months! I was about halfway through this episode when I lost motivation, but I got some of it back now. Hopefully, with Sailor X appearing in just a couple of episodes, I'll really get my mojo back. She's the one I'm looking forward to writing the most.

This has been the biggest rewrite so far. All Disney references were removed. Disney isn't known for being parody-friendly, and from what I understand Japan has different copyright laws than America regarding the legality of parody, so the original episode is something that never, ever would have (or could have) existed in the actual show. The original episode was also mostly "The senshi go on this ride and then on that ride and then..." which was kind of boring.

[Rewrite] Sailor Moon X Episode 4: The Magical Wonderland

Spoiler: show

4. The Magical Wonderland

[SCENE: Minako is running frantically through the streets, a cloud of dust
trailing behind her. She briefly stops at the park, her head moving in all
directions looking for someone, before taking off again. She darts across the
street, almost getting hit by one car, and again by another. She zips right
past Motoki.]

Motoki: (calling after her) Minako? Where are you off to in such a hurry?

[Minako runs past the arcade, then doubles back, looking inside for someone.
Not finding her target, she checks the cafe above, and finally spot Usagi and
the rest of her friends sitting at a booth enjoying ice cream.]

Ami: Oh, Minako! Come sit down.

Rei: You're awfully out of breath. I thought you said you had something to do
today?

Minako: Guess who just won 5 tickets to the brand-new theme park Magical
Wonderland?! (has out loud, prideful ojou laugh)

Usagi: No way!! How'd you manage to get those?

Minako: (starry-eyed) There was a call-in contest on the radio show "Love Like
the Young!" I only had to call in 23 times before winning one of their prizes!

Makoto: (sweatdrop) That's our Minako, all right...

Minako: So let's all go together, it'll be fun!

[OPENING CREDITS]

[SCENE: In the underground chamber, six figures are again sitting around the
dark pool of water. Hades rises from the water once again.]

Hades: You test my patience, Oni Master. While you did manage to collect some
energy, you have failed to dispose of the Sailor Senshi.

Akai-oni: M-my Lord! Might I make a suggestion?

Hades: It had better be a good one.

Akai-oni: Perhaps, for the moment, we should focus our efforts solely on
collecting energy and attempt to avoid the Sailor Senshi entirely. Then, when
you have one again regained your former glory, we can crush the Sailor Senshi
for good!

Hades: (pause of consideration where he narrows his eyes) Do not attempt to
deceive me, I know you'd prefer to take the path of least resistance.
However... perhaps a change in strategy is warranted, given your repeated
failures. Very well, you may proceed.

[Hades disappears in a cloud of smoke. Akai-oni looks very nervous, he knows
he's running out of second chances.]


[SCENE: Usagi and friends have just walked through the gates of the theme park.
Everything is a bright shade of pastel, and there are lots of children with
their parents. Costumed mascots walk around, handing out balloons and posing
for photos.]

Usagi: (looking around at everything) Sooooo cuuuute!!

Rei: This all seems just a bit... more child-like than I expected.

Makoto: Well, it was free, might as well enjoy it. And you don't get to be a
kid forever, right?

Rei: (looking at Usagi fawning over a cute costumed mascot) In Usagi's case,
I'm not sure that's true...

Ami: What should we do first?

Minako: I heard there's a new Alice in Wonderland -themed ride that has brand-
new never-before-seen special effects! We should check that one out!

Makoto: (calling over to Usagi, who is laughing at the silly antics of a
costumed mascot) Hey Usagi, we're checking out the rides!

Usagi: Oh! Coming, coming! (runs along)

[Watching from a hidden spot in a tree in the part is Akai-oni. His focus
narrows on the costumed mascot, who is dressed like the White Rabbit from Alice
in Wonderland. As Usagi and her friends walk away, a child near the mascot
trips and falls, and starts crying. The mascot walks up to the child].

Mascot: (in a cute, cartoony voice) Oh dear, what a fall! You must be amazingly
strong to have survived unscratched!

Kid: (looks up and stops crying, then gets up off the ground) That's right! I'm
a big boy, and big boys are strong!

Mascot: That's right! They get a balloon, too! (hands him a balloon)

[The kid excitedly runs off towards his mother. Akai-oni, having seen all this,
narrows his eyes.]

Akai-oni: Surely his energy will be pure and of high quality... and the Sailor
Senshi wouldn't been in such a childish place as this. This time, they will
*not* interfere.


[COMMERCIAL BREAK]


[SCENE: Usagi and friends have just gotten off the Alice and Wonderland ride.]

Ami: You were right Minako, those special effects were amazing! I wonder if
they were made using the latest in computer technology, or if they used more
traditional holographic methods.

Minako: (confused) If they used the... what or the... huh?

Ami: (sweatdrop) Oh, never mind me!

Usagi: Ahh, it was so realistic!! I thought the Jabberwabber was gonna eat me!

Rei: It's Jabberwocky.

Usagi: Jabberwabber, Jabberwocky, it's all the same: Scary!

[SCENE: Not far away, the costumed mascot is walking around. Akai-oni finally
reveals himself by jumping out from behind a tree, but everyone just thinks
he's another costumed character.]

Mascot: (cartoony voice) Well hey there, friend! You new here?

Akai-oni: (confused for a moment, before getting an idea) Yes, I am. Could you
come help me with something for a moment?

Mascot: Sure thing! (follows Akai-oni into a less-populated part of the park)

[SCENE: Usagi and friends stopped to get a snack in the less-populated part of
the park, in a forested area around a pond with swans and an arched bridge.
Suddenly, they hear a scream from the trees.]

Ami: What was that?!

[The girls run into the trees, and stop when they see the mascot on the ground,
with Akai-oni's blade stuck in him, draining his energy. Akai-oni stands over
him, but doesn't see the girls standing among the trees.]

Minako: Everyone, transform!

[Transformation Sequences]

Sailor Moon: Stop right there!

Akai-oni: (turns around slowly, looking incredibly freaked out) No! That
sounded like...

Sailor Moon: I'm Sailor Moon!

Akai-oni: (frustrated, sounding defeated) Of course.

Sailor Moon: And I'll stop you from ruining this beautiful day with your evil
presence! In the name of the moon, I'll punish you!

Akai-oni: (pulls the blade out of the unconscious costumed mascot) I've had
about enough of you! Carousella, teach these impudent senshi a lesson!

[Akai-oni vanishes in a cloud of smoke, and standing in his place is a very
feminine demon with pastel coloring, a tiara, and large curls in her hair. She
has a fancy lacy corseted bodice and long gloves, but instead of pants or a
skirt she has a carousel horse where her hips would be - almost as if riding
it, but her legs stick out of the bottom. She has high heels, stockings, and
lacy garters]

Carousella: Who's ready for some family-friendly amusement?!

Sailor Mars: (annoyed) What about that outfit is remotely "family-friendly?"

Carousella: Someone's grumpy! Not to worry, a ride on the carousel will turn
that frown upside-down!

[Carousella begins spinning quickly like a top, chasing after the senshi who
dodge out of the way. She leaves a trail of destruction behind her.]

Sailor Mars: Fire Soul!

[Carousella is now spinning out of control and *on fire.* The senshi continue
to run wildly from her.]

Carousella: HOT! HOT! HOT!

Sailor Moon: That just made it worse!!

Sailor Mars: Less complaining, more fighting!

Sailor Mercury: Shabon Spray!

[The air fills with cold fog, and puts out the fire. Carousella stops spinning
and lets out a sigh of relief, looking extremely charred and worse for the
wear.]

Carousella: (suddenly realizing and looking around) Oh? Where'd they go?

Sailor Jupiter: Supreme Thunder!

Sailor Venus: Crescent Beam!

[The attacks hit Carousella from opposite directions, and she screams and falls
to her knees. The fog clears, and the senshi have her surrounded.]

Sailor Jupiter: Now, Sailor Moon!

Sailor Moon: Right! Moon Princess Halation!

Carousella: But we didn't get to try all the riiiiiides! [is moondusted into
oblivion]

[Everyone sighs in relief before realizing the state of that section of the
park - lots of trees are charred, the ground is upturned in some places, trash
bins are overturned, and the flower beds are ruined. They share a collective
look of distraught.]


[SCENE: The 5 girls are helping a volunteer effort to fix that section of the
park. Makoto is planting new flowers, Minako and Usagi are picking up trash,
Ami is laying new bricks on the path, and Rei is trimming dead tree branches.]

Man: It's so nice of you girls to help fix up the park! I can't believe it got
struck by vandals.

Rei: (looking embarrassed) Oh, it's nothing! We're always happy to help!

Usagi: I just wish there was less trash!

Minako: (to the man working alongside them) Hey, you seem familiar. Have we met
before?

Man: (in the same goofy cartoon voice as the White Rabbit mascot) Now why would
you think that? (winks at the camera)


[END CREDITS]
 
Likes: Onuzim Ima

noildoof

Solaris Luna
Feb 1, 2011
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#13
A 2-parter! These are the last episodes before Sailor X finally appears (yay!) More very heavy re-writing, but most of the basic plot beats were kept.

We finally get some backstory on the big baddie, Hades! That part I actually wrote completely from scratch since he never really got a backstory in the original. I'm not sure if he was meant to *literally* be the Greek god Hades or what, but he's definitely not that in the re-write since I don't think literal Greek gods fit in all that well with the anime Sailor Moon mythos.

[Rewrite] Sailor Moon X Episode 5: Confrontation

Spoiler: show

5. Confrontation

[SCENE: Deep within the underground chamber, a pained scream echoes through the cavern. The shadowy figures sit uneasily around the dark pool containing Hades, and they watch as he repeatedly blasts Akai-oni with firey energy. Finally he stops, and Akai-oni shakily attempts to stand.]

Hades: Convince me why I should not kill you right here and now, Oni Master.

Akai-oni: L-lord Hades! Please, give me one last chance!

Hades: I tire of your excuses and your pleading. State your case while you still have the opportunity.

Akai-oni: P-perhaps... instead of trying to eliminate or avoid the Sailor Senshi... we use their presence to our advantage. They show up every time to rescue our targets, surely they *must* have exceptionally pure energy!

Hades: You suggest luring the senshi and taking their energy?

Akai-oni: Yes, yes! Precisely!

[A shadowy form lurks in the back, her arms folded]

???: (snickers) You've failed at every other task, Oni "Master." What makes you think you're fit to carry out a mission of this importance?

Hades: Silence, Kuro-oni. (Turns back to Akai-oni) Oni Master, this is your final chance. I will lend you one of my strongest Familiars for this task. (He tosses a small marble-like object to Akai-oni, who clumsily catches it) Bring back the Sailor Senshi. You know what will become of you if you fail.

Akai-oni: T-thank you, merciful Lord! (He disappears into a puff of smoke)

[The shadowy figure from the back steps toward Hades. She is dressed very similarly to Akai-oni, but her clothes are black.]

Kuro-oni: Lord Hades! Please reconsider, Akai-oni isn't fit to carry out this mission!

Lord Hades: Which is why you will follow him, Kuro-oni. If he fails in his mission, you must ensure its success.

Kuro-oni: Thank you for having faith in me, my Lord. (She smirks to herself and thinks: "Oh, Akai-oni. I won't let you take credit for this one.")


[OPENING CREDITS]


[SCENE: The girls are gathered at the temple in Rei's room, sitting around the table. They all look very serious, even Usagi.]

Rei: This is starting to get out of hand... it seems like the enemy is slowly getting stronger, and they did a lot of damage during our last battle.

Makoto: And we still don't really understand what they're after...

Minako: Or who they even are, for that matter.

Usagi: (lets out a big sigh) So they want energy from good people and we gotta stop them every time! What a hassle!

Ami: It's only going to get worse from now on. We've stopped them every time, so I wouldn't be surprised if they're planning something big. The only question is *what.*

Usagi: Well, sitting around here worrying isn't going to help! There's nothing we can really do with no information, right?

Rei: You need to take this more seriously!

Usagi: I AM taking it seriously! But I'm right! We can't DO anything right now!

Rei: ...

Usagi: Don't you think I'm worried too? These are innocent people getting hurt... I'd do something if I could, but... I just feel so helpless right now.

Rei: ... it'll be okay, Usagi. We'll figure something out. Hey, how about we all head to the park?

Minako: Now?

Rei: Like Usagi said, worrying won't solve anything. And we could use some time to unwind.

Usagi: Yay!! I'll call Mamo-chan and have him come with us!

Rei: (sweatdrop) Of course you will.


[COMMERCIAL BREAK]


[SCENE: At the park, the girls are looking at the flowers in bloom. It's a nice sunny day, and a light breeze makes the leaves dance on their branches.]

Rei: Oh, it's really nice out... almost makes you forget about what we're fighting.

Usagi: (grabbing onto Mamoru's arm) Isn't it romantic Mamo-chan?

Mamoru: A-ah... I guess so?

Makoto: (embarrassed) We're right here, Usagi.

Ami: You're right though Rei, look how happy everyone looks!

[There's a panoramic shot of the park. Happy couples are walking, and a mother sitting at a bench is holding her toddler, looking content. However, Akai-oni is lurking in the bushes, quietly observing everyone].

Akai-oni: The perfect target! The Sailor Senshi couldn't possibly fail to protect a mother and child...

[Behind Akai-oni, sitting in a distant tree, is a well-hidden Kuro-oni.]

Kuro-oni: Oh, Akai-oni... you're so predictable.

[The mother on the bench sets her child down.]

Mother: Now don't wander too far, Haruto.

[The child toddles off near some bushes. Springing out from the bushes is a bouncy, friendly-looking blob of blue jelly. The toddler smiles and follows it into a nearby clearing, his mother not noticing as she reads a book. She then looks up and notices her child gone.]

Mother: Haruto...? Haruto!!

[She gets up and walks towards the bushes, and into the clearing where her son went. She sees him sitting, playing with the jelly blob.]

Mother: Ah, there you are! Don't scare me like that. Hmm? Did you find a lost toy?

[She picks up the smiley-faced jelly blob. For a moment it does nothing, then suddenly tendrils shoot out of it and grab the woman and her son. She screams loudly.]

[SCENE: Back in the main part of the park, Usagi and friends hear the scream and run toward the sound. They see the nightmarish scene in the clearing, where the blue blob has morphed into a sinister-looking humanoid torso and head sticking out of a huge slug-like body. Its tendrils have ensnared the mother and child and are slowly draining them of energy. Usagi and the girls are hiding among the trees.]

Usagi: Everyone, transform!

[Transformation Sequences]

Sailor Moon: Stop right there! How dare you attack a mother and child, who raised you?! When I'm done with you you'll wish you hadn't been born! I'm Sailor Moon, and in the name of the moon, I'll punish you!

[The blobbish familiar immediately drops the mother and child who crawl away, and lunges toward the senshi. It ensnares Sailor Moon in its tendrils, and she yells in surprise as it starts sapping her energy.]

Sailor Mercury: It was a trap!

Sailor Venus: CRESCENT BEAM!

[Venus's attack cuts through the tendril, releasing Sailor Moon, who stumbles back.]

Sailor Moon: Be careful, this one's strong!

[But just as she says this, the familiar bounces high into the air and slams down on Sailor Venus, trapping it within its gelatinous body. Venus struggles to get free but is unable to.]

Sailor Jupiter: SUPREME-

Sailor Mercury: WAIT! If we attack now Venus will be-

[She's cut off as a tendril quickly grabs her and she shrieks in surprise. It quickly places her within its body along with Venus.]

Sailor Moon: NO!

[Suddenly, a rose streaks across the screen, and strikes the familiar in the face. Tuxedo Mask leaps down from the tree branches.]

Tuxedo Mask: My apologies for being late, I was helping the mother and child you ungraciously attacked.

[Enraged, Akai-oni leaps from the bushes and lunges at Tuxedo Mask.]

Akai-oni: NO! YOU WILL NOT INTERFERE!

[During the distraction, the familiar grabs Sailor Mars and Sailor Jupiter and envelopes them.]

Sailor Moon: MARS! JUPITER!

[Now all four senshi are trapped and unconscious inside the blue blob, but it seems to be stretching itself thin. Akai-oni has been fighting Tuxedo Mask this entire time and has managed to knock him to the ground. But just as he's about to make the final blow, a spear impales him from behind. He coughs up a black substance that stains the clothing wrapped around his head. Shakily lifting one arm, he unwraps his head, revealing a grotesque monstrous face underneath.]

Akai-oni- Y-you...

[Behind him stands Kuro-oni, holding the spear.]

Kuro-oni: Thank you, Akai-oni, but your services are no longer needed.

[Akai-oni melts into a black puddle. Ignoring Tunxedo Mask, Kuro-oni steps toward Sailor Moon.]

Kuro-oni: Unfortunately it seems like Meduzoa is getting a bit full and won't have room for dessert. (She pats the side of the familiar and Sailor Moon glares at her.) We'll have to finish our playtime later. If you want to see your little friends again, come to the abandoned lighting factory nearby at 9:00. I'll be waiting~.

Sailor Moon: WAIT- (She runs toward the familiar and her friends, but along with Kuro-oni they disappear in a cloud of smoke.)

[Sailor Moon looks utterly defeated and drops to her knees. Her eyes start welling up with tears, until she sees Tuxedo Mask lying on the ground.]

Sailor Moon: Tuxedo Mask! (She runs towards him and kneels down, holding him in her arms. He seems to be somewhat injured.)

Tuxedo Mask: Unng... we have to get out of here...

(Sailor Moon nods in agreement.)


[SCENE: Back at Mamoru's apartment, Usagi makes a hot drink for him as he lies in bed with a bandaged head and torso. She hands the drink to him and looks out the window at the rain.]


Usagi: So this is what they wanted all along... well, you'll get your wish, Kuro-oni! (She looks determined and serious.) I'm coming for you to end this!


[END CREDITS]


[Rewrite] Sailor Moon X Episode 6: Last One Standing

Spoiler: show

6. Last One Standing

[In the cavernous depths is a room with four tables, with an unconscious Sailor Senshi on each one. Surrounding them are strange, organic-looking machinery analyzing and siphoning their energy. The tubes from the machinery wind out of the room towards another room: The one with Hade's dark pool of water. He angrily rips the tubes out of his pond.]

Hades: Why? WHY? WHY CAN'T I USE THIS ENERGY?!

Kuro-oni: Lord Hades, please forgive me. This was an unexpected complica-

Hades: (As if not hearing her) Am I not good enough for the precious Sailor Senshi's divine energy?!

Kuro-oni: Of course not, my Lord, I believe that-

Hades: Silence, I need a moment to think. (He slowly calms down and stops seething.) ... yes, I think I know how to harness their abilities. It needn't matter that I can't absorb their energy directly.

Kuro-oni: My Lord...?

Hades: Good work, Kuro-oni. I shall relinquish the Sailor Senshi to you soon so that you may lure in Sailor Moon and dispose of her. You are dismissed.

Kuro-oni: (flustered) T-thank you, my Lord! (she vanishes in a puff of smoke)


[OPENING CREDITS]


Hades: (to himself) Sailor Moon... the stronger I become, the more I remember of your past self.

[A flashback begins, showing the Earth from long ago during the Silver Millennium. The palace of the Earth Kingdom is shown, along with prosperous, happy people living in an ancient metropolis.]

Hades: In that time, the Earth was a prosperous, thriving kingdom under the guidance of the Moon Kingdom.

[In the flashback, Hades and various other spirits are shown being ignored by humans, who instead look upward to Queen Serenity sitting on an ornate throne.]

Hades: They had forgotten us, the old deities of the Earth, and turned their loyalty skyward to the heavens.

[The flashback shows Hades and the other spirits becoming weaker and frailer.]

Hades: Trapped in incorporeal form, without humans to sacrifice their energy to us, we withered away in silence.

[The flashback shows the Dark Kingdom attacking the Silver Millennium, with Sailor Moon attempting to fight back. Hades and the spirits can only watch from the shadows.]

Hades: And then finally, the day came! The Earth Kingdom rebelled against the Moon Kingdom. However... they did not come for us. All but a few had forgotten we even existed. We could only watch as all of humanity was reset.

[Flashback ends.]

Hades: My loyal Oni Clan, only you have kept my name in your memories... and for that I have gifted you your abilities. Your reward will be even greater once I am truly resurrected.


[SCENE: In Mamoru's apartment, Usagi is getting ready to leave to go save her friends. It's dark and cloudy outside, but the rain has stopped. Luna and Artemis are in apartment as well.]


Mamoru: Usa-ko! I can't let you go alone! Unng- (he leans over in pain)

Usagi: (running over to lead him back to bed) You're in no shape to fight, Mamo! I *have* to go alone.

Luna: Be careful, Usagi!

Artemis: We don't know what we're up against.

Mamoru: Just promise me you'll come back safe.

[Usagi nods and looks up at him sweetly, and they kiss]


[SCENE: In the abandoned warehouse, the senshi are hanging from the rafters tied up by a blue jelly-like substance. They slowly regain consciousness one by one.]


Sailor Mars: Ung... uhhh... where... where am I...?

Sailor Mercury: Mars... are you awake too?

Sailor Mars: Yeah...

Sailor Jupiter: Can any of you move?

Sailoe Mercury: No... it's like my energy is being sucked out of me... Venus?

Sailor Venus: [snoring loudly but suddenly awoken by Mercury] W-what?! Where are we?

[The camera zooms out suddenly to show the entire location. Meduzoa and Kuro-oni stand below the senshi.]

Sailor Venus: You won't get away with this!

Kuro-oni: Hm? Oh, I don't plan to. I fully expect Sailor Moon to show up any minute now.


[SCENE: Right outside the forboding factory, Usagi looks up with a determined look on her face.]


Usagi: Don't worry, everyone. I'm coming!

[Transformation Sequence]


[COMMERCIAL BREAK]


[SCENE: Sailor Moon bursts through the factory doors into the large main room where her friends are being kept.]


Sailor Moon: Give me back my friends, Kuro-oni!

Kuro-oni: What, I don't get a pretty speech? No matter. Meduzoa, get her!

[Meduzoa charges toward Sailor Moon, who knows by now to dodge out of the way. Instead of hitting Sailor Moon, Meduzoa strikes a wall, making the whole room shake.]

Kuro-oni: C-careful! We don't want the whole building to come down on us!

[Meduzoa gives her an annoyed look but charges after Sailor Moon again. Sailor Moon dodges and jumps up onto a platform.]

Sailor Moon: (Thinking to herself) I have to free my friends! We're going to need everyone to beat this Familiar!

Sailor Moon: Moon Tiara Action!

[At first she seems to be aiming at the Familiar, but the tiara veers completely away from it.]

Kuro-oni: You missed! And you call yourself a Sailor Senshi?!

Sailor Moon: (wry smile) I didn't miss at all!

[Her tiara slices right through the gelatinous ropes tying together the other Senshi, and they fall to the ground and manage to land on their feet.]

Kuro-oni: What?! I-I didn't know you could do that! Meduzoa, attack!!

[Meduzoa charges at the senshi, but Sailor Mars - who has recovered first - prepares to attack.]

Sailor Mars: Fire Soul!

[The fire engulfs Meduzoa, who shrieks and starts to wither from the flames. Some of her tendrils dissolve. She lunges at Mars, who jumps out of the way, grabs Jupiter by the ponytail.]

Sailor Venus: Crescent Beam!

[The beam cuts off Meduzoa's arm, which releases Jupiter's ponytail and melts into a little puddle.]

Sailor Jupiter: How dare you mess with me?! SUPREME THUNDER!

[Meduzoa is electrocuted, and Kuro-oni can only watch in horror as her best asset is repeatedly damaged.]

Kuro-oni: No, no, NO!

Sailor Mercury: Shabon Spray!

[The room fogs up in freezing mist, but Meduzoa is still frantically looking around for the senshi.]

Sailor Mercury: Sailor Moon, use your tiara to cut that water pipe!

Sailor Moon: Moon Tiara Action!

[Her tiara slices open a water pipe near the top of the room, and freezing water spills down on Meduzoa. With Mercury's cold mist, Meduzoa freezes solid.]

Sailor Mars: Now, Sailor Moon!

Sailor Moon: Moon Princess Halation!

[The mist clears, and Meduzoa is reduced to dust.]

Kuro-oni: Curse you, Sailor Senshi! You won't be seeing the last of me! I WILL pay you back for this! (She disappears in a cloud of smoke.]

[Everyone sighs in relief now that the battle is over. They then run toward each other and embrace. Sailor Moon starts crying in joy.]

Sailor Moon: Everyone!! I was so scared, I'm so happy you're okay!

Sailor Mars: (smiling) Of course, we'd never leave you all alone, dummy!

Sailor Moon: (tearing up more) Rei, you're so mean! (laughs as she hugs her tighter)


[SCENE: Hades stands in his pool of water, surrounded by his shadowy clan. Kuro-oni stands in front of him, seething in rage.]


Kuro-oni: That Sailor Moon! If it hadn't been for her-

Hades: Calm yourself, Kuro-oni. Such outbursts aren't befitting of an Oni Master.

Kuro-oni: (in awed shock) M-my Lord?

Hades: You heard me. You will now take Akai-oni's place as Oni Master. His demise at the hands of the Sailor Senshi was unfortunate but not unforseen.

Kuro-oni: (clasps hands together in gratitude) Oh thank you, my Lord! This is quite an honor! But... I fear I've tarnished the title of Oni Master with my recent failure...

Hades: Never mind that. We'll simply have to use our new weapon more discreetly, and in a slightly different way...

[The camera focuses on a silhouette standing in the back of the room. It looks different from the members of the Oni Clan. The screen slowly fades out.]


[END CREDITS]
 
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noildoof

Solaris Luna
Feb 1, 2011
2,179
198
165
#14
First episode with Sailor X!! This isn't all that different from the original, although Sailor X doesn't single-handedly kick the bad guy's butt before handing her off to Sailor Moon (I'm trying really, really hard to de-Sue-ify Sailor X), and the main cast isn't as flanderized (but I guess that's what'll happen when a fanfic is based on the DiC dub).

[Rewrite] Sailor Moon X Episode 7: X Marks Her Spot

Spoiler: show

7. X Marks Her Spot

[SCENE: The shadowy figures kneel around the dark, misty pool in the dark
underground chamber. A red mist rises from the pool, forming Hades. Kuro-oni
stands up and spreads her arms out in a gesture of devotion.]


Kuro-oni: Lord Hades, I am pleased to announce that the weapon has taken to its
training wonderfully!

Hades: Ah, some good news at last. I had been becoming accustomed to Akai-oni's
repeated failures. Thusfar you have lived up to my expectations as Oni Master.
Good work, Kuro-oni.

Kuro-oni: (flustered and proud, she clasps her hands together) T-thank you, my
Lord! I live only to serve you. Shall I deploy our weapon?

Hades: Not yet. At least, not in the manner we originally planned for - the
Sailor Senshi have made it necessary to be more cautious.

Kuro-oni: (looking momentarily ashamed for letting the senshi get away) Oh, I
see...

Hades: Our new weapon won't openly antagonize the senshi. Not yet. Instead it
will act as a distraction, and perhaps a means of gathering intel. Find a new
target, and instruct the weapon to appear only once Sailor Moon has arrived.

Kuro-oni: Understood, my Lord. (She turns toward a silent silhouette in the
back of the room) Well? Let's go and show the Sailor Senshi what you're made
of.


[OPENING CREDITS]


[SCENE: Usagi and the girls are sitting in the cafe above the arcade, enjoying
a treat. They look pretty cheery and content.]


Minako: It's great that the enemy decided to give us a break for a while!

Ami: I hope you've been using all this extra time to study, Minako. You want to
get your grades up so you can get into a good high school!

Usagi: Amiiiiii, give us a break! We deserve it after everything we've been
through.

Ami: (flustered) Well... I'll admit it *is* a good idea to set aside some
personal time for relaxation. In my spare time I've been teaching myself C++
programming.

Makoto: (sweatdrop) That's our Ami!

Usagi: (very confused) Huh? Why would you want C++ and not A++? (smug) Ami, I
thought you were smart!

Rei: (annoyed) It's just a name, you dummy.

[Usagi and Rei get into a heated argument. Meanwhile, Minako notices that
Makoto looks a bit lost in thought.]

Minako: Hey Mako-chan, what's up?

Makoto: Huh? Oh, I was just thinking... the enemy stopped showing up awfully
abruptly.

[Usagi stops fighting with Rei to butt in]

Usagi: Maybe they're scared of us 'cause we kicked their butts!

Makoto: When has the enemy *ever* given up that easily in the past?

Rei: That's true... this quiet *does* feel a little ominous.

Usagi: You don't... really think they'll come back, do you? It's been almost a
month...

Ami: There's no telling, we'll just have to stay vigilant.

Usagi: You guys don't get it... when they took you, I was... I was so scared! I
was afraid I'd never see you again...

Minako: Hey, it's all right! We're all here, we're not going anywhere. And if
the enemy comes back, we'll kick their butts!

Usagi: (cheering up and smiling) Right!


[SCENE: Motoki is at work in the arcade below. A kid is playing one of the
games and getting frustrated, he just can't seem to get the hang of it.]

Kid: Augh!! Stupid game!

[Motoki walks over]

Motoki: Hey, can I give you some tips?

Kid: (mumbles) Whatever, not like it'll help...

Motoki: You can double-jump by pressing and holding the blue button, and
hitting the red button, then the joystick button, then the red button again
lets you do a combo move.

[The kid tries it out and is having way more success.]

Kid: Ohhh! Thanks!

Motoki: No problem!

[Lurking behind one of the bigger arcade games in Kuro-oni. She takes care not
to be seen.]

Kuro-oni: Someone so helpful will certainly have high-quality energy...


[COMMERCIAL BREAK]


[SCENE: Usagi and friends are getting ready to leave the cafe.]


Minako: Hey, why don't we hang out at the arcade a little before heading home?

Usagi: Yeah, that'll get my mind off of things!

[They go downstairs and into the arcade, when they hear a scream.]

Makoto: That sounded like Motoki!

[A couple of kids run out of the arcade screaming. The girls see Kuro-oni
standing over Motoki, with what appears to be a semi-transparent spear sticking
out of him, draining his energy. They run behind some tall arcade games before
she has a chance to see them.]

Ami: (whispering) Everyone, transform!

[Transformation Sequences]

Sailor Moon: Stop right there!

[Kuro-oni turns around casually, noticing the Sailor Senshi. She doesn't seem
worried.]

Sailor Moon: Having fun after school is every child's right! How dare you hurt
someone trying to nurture the free spirit of our youth?! I'm and Sailor Moon!

Sailor Mercury: Sailor Mercury!

Sailor Mars: Sailor Mars!

Sailor Jupiter: Sailor Jupiter!

Sailor Venus: Sailor Venus!

Sailor Moon: And in the name of the moon...

All Senshi: We'll punish you!

Kuro-oni: Ah, right on time. I'll introduce you to my newest Familiar,
Screenqueen.

[In a cloud of smoke, a new Familiar appears - she looks exactly like Sailor V,
but heavily pixellated. Kuro-oni has vanished from the Sailor Senshi's view,
but she's hiding behind the arcade games.]

Sailor Moon: (weirded out) Sailor... V?

Sailor Venus: It's not the real thing!

Sailor Moon: (annoyed) I KNOW it's not the real thing!

Kuro-oni: (whispering to Screenqueen from her hiding place) Why do you look
like that?!

Screenqueen: (announcing matter-of-factly to the entire room) Sailor V is my
favorite game.

[The Sailor Senshi all look very baffled and awkward.]

Screenqueen: (suddenly looking very intense and threatening) Let's play!!

[Screenqueen lunges at the senshi, who attempt to dodge out of the way, however
she's able to land a well-placed kick to Sailor Moon and knocks her to the
ground.]

Sailor Moon: (dizzy) Uggghhh, she's definitely got the Sailor V kick down...

Screenqueen: Crescent Beam!

[A beam of light shoots through the room, which the senshi narrowly avoid.]

Sailor Venus: HEY! That's MY attack!

Sailor Jupiter: Then let's mix it up a little! SUPREME THUNDER!

[Jupiter's attack hits Screenqueen head-on, and she seems to glitch out.]

Screenqueen: E-e-error! Commencing debug routine!

[Screenqueen seems to shimmer for a moment before going back to normal and
completely undamaged.]

Sailor Mars: Seriously?!

[The camera suddenly cuts to an unknown senshi beginning to attack. She has
shoulder-length bangless brown hair, brown eyes, and is wearing a senshi
uniform with a black skirt, collar, and bows. Her choker and brooch are white
and she has a white zig-zag striped along the bottom of her skirt. She wears
black clog-like shoes.]

???: Acceleration...

[The new senshi crosses her arms in front of her chest, and her hair blows back
in a fast breeze.]

???: LIGHTNING!

[She brings her arms forward and forms a finger-gun, and black lightning shoots
from the tip. It hits Screenqueen, who screams and flashes black, with a
pixellated skeletal structure showing inside. She flashes back to normal,
smoldering a little and hunched over. The other Sailor Senshi all whip around
to look at the new senshi.]

???: Hurry, Sailor Moon!

Sailor Moon: R... right! MOON PRINCESS HALATION!

[Screenqueen is reduced to dust, and the Sailor Senshi run over toward the new
senshi. Meanwhile Kuro-oni retreats from her hiding spot and creeps toward an
unconscious Motoki. She checks the spear, which is gently glowing.]

Kuro-oni: (quietly to herself) Yes, I think that'll be enough.

[The Sailor Senshi look up at the new senshi, who is standing atop an arcade
game.]

Sailor Mercury: Who are you?

Sailor X: (winks) You can call me... Sailor X! (she says this in a somewhat
bubbly way and strikes a pose)

Sailor Moon: Sailor... X?

Sailor X: (pointing behind the senshi) I think someone needs help!

[The other senshi turn around and notice Motoki, who groans in pain.]

5 Senshi: Motoki!

[The runs towards him. Sailor Mercury grabs his shoulder and gently shakes
him.]

Sailor Mercury: Motoki! Motoki! Someone, call for help!

Sailor Moon (turning around) Sailor X, call for-

[Sailor X is gone.]

Sailor Moon: Sailor... Sailor X...?


[SCENE: An ambulance takes Motoki away, and the 5 girls stand in front of the
arcade looking worried.]


Rei: What *was* all that?

Minako: Looks like you were right, Mako-chan. It was all to good to be true.

Makoto: Believe me, I was hoping I'd be wrong.

Ami: But this Sailor X person...

Usagi: Sailor X... are you our ally? Or...

[screen fades out]


[END CREDITS]
 
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noildoof

Solaris Luna
Feb 1, 2011
2,179
198
165
#15
New episode! We're introduced to Sailor X's student form, Alyssa Sumner. The biggest changes made were getting rid of the Ranma 1/2 references. In the original, she literally goes to the school from Ranma 1/2 and wears that uniform. I've changed it for the rewrite and included a picture of the new uniform. There's also no "breaking point" martial arts move in this, that was specifically made up for Ranma 1/2 and doesn't exist in real life. (I'm pretty sure the original author thought it was a real thing...) Also, no flirting with Mamoru and Yuichiro. Too Mary Sue-ish. Alyssa was made into a transfer/exchange student, this is to explain her English name and give a plausible excuse for her lack of presence before the events of Sailor Moon X (despite being a senshi).

Her new school uniform:
Spoiler: show


[Rewrite] Sailor Moon X Episode 8. Extraordinary Girl
Spoiler: show

8. Extraordinary Girl

[SCENE: In the dark underground chamber, Hades' red steam form hovers above the
black pool in the center of the room. He is looking slightly more opaque than
usual, and his edges are less fuzzy. Kuro-oni stands before him.]


Hades: You've done excellent work, Oni Master.

Kuro-oni: I wish only to please you, my Lord.

Hades: Have you chosen your next target?

Kuro-oni: Not yet, master, but I will do so immediately.

Hades: Good, we have no time to waste.

Kuro-oni: Shall I keep an eye on our weapon as well...?

Hades: That won't be necessary. Its braiwashing will tell it what to do...


[OPENING CREDITS]


[SCENE: Usagi is laying on her bed, deep in thought. She stares at the ceiling
with her arms foldes behind her head.]

Usagi: So... Sailor X, huh...?

Luna: You need to be careful, Usagi. We don't know anything about this Sailor
X.

Usagi: But she helped us, right? That means she *can't* be our enemy! We're all
senshi, after all...

Luna: Still, until we know more about this girl, we need to proceed with
caution.

[Usagi sits up and leans forward, and looks at Luna who is sitting on the
window sill.]

Usagi: What do you think the X means?

Luna: Well... I'm far from certain, but... in the Silver Millennium, there was
a legend about a planet in the furthest reaches of the solar system.

[Flashback begins. In the deep starry reaches of space a planet is shown, and
the camera slowly zooms in. It's banded in soft shades of orange, pink, and
purple and has a brilliant set of rings.]

Luna: This planet was said to be extremely isolated and protected by its own
guardian.

[A scene on the planet is shown, of a field fill with strange flowers and a sky
fading from soft shades of orange to pink to purple. A vague silhouette of a
Sailor Senshi can be seen in the distance, her hair blowing gently in the
wind.]

Luna: But no one had ever seen said planet or even knew its name. It became
known through legend as "Planet X."

[Flashback ends.]

Usagi: Planet X? As in, a 10th planet beyond Pluto?

Luna: I actually doubt it's the 10th one, there are unconfirmed reports of
smaller planets beyond Pluto.

Usagi: EHHHHH? Just how many planets ARE there?!

Luna: I-I don't know??

Usagi: Ugh, this is all so confusing...

Luna: Mmm...

[Luna glances at the clock.]

Luna: Aren't you supposed to be meeting Mamoru soon?

[Usagi suddenly jumps up.]

Usagi: AHH, YOU'RE RIGHT! I'm gonna be late!!

[Usagi runs out the door as fast as she can.]

Luna: (sweatdrop) And just when I thought she was finally starting to take
things seriously...


[SCENE: Mamoru and Usagi are walking together to the temple.]


Usagi: You've been awfully quiet, Mamo-chan... is something wrong?

Mamoru: I still haven't forgiven myself for letting you down in our last battle
together.

Usagi: But you *didn't* let me down... you distracted that monster right when I
needed you to.

Mamoru: But the others-

Usagi: Just think of what would've happened if you hadn't been there! It
would've gotten me too...

[Usagi stops walking and hugs Mamoru tightly to her.]

Usagi: You've always been there for me... that's all I want...

Mamoru: Usako...

[Usagi lets go and cheerily jogs on a little ahead.]

Usagi: We have to get going now or Rei will get mad at us for being late!

Mamoru: (smiles and says quietly to himself) You've gotten so much stronger...


[SCENE: Usagi and Mamoru arrive at the temple. Suddenly Yuichiro goes flying
through the air and smacks right into Usagi, knocking her over and landing on
top of her.]

Yuichiro: (daze) U-ugh...

Usagi: (muffled) Get- get OFF!

[Mamoru helps Yuichiro up, who wobbles slightly in place, looking a bit
disheveled. Usagi gets up, looking miffed, and dusts herself off. Standing in
front of the three is a girl Usagi's age, in a school uniform composed of a
light blue knee-length dress with a white sailor collar and puffy short white
sleeves. There's a white ribbon in front of her sailor collar and a white
ribbon tied around the waist of her uniform. She has shoulder-length, bangless
brown hair and brown eyes. She has a ready-to-fight stance at first, but
quickly relaxes.]

???: I'm so sorry; you startled me! Are you okay?

Yuichiro: (awkwardly laughs) Yeah, I'm fine! That was some kick!

[The door to the temple opens, and out steps Rei and her grandfather.]

Rei: What's going on out here?!

Yuichiro: Oh, just a misunderstanding, Rei!

Rei: Did you mess something up again?!

???: No, it was my fault! He came up behind me and I got startled and, um...
(looks sheepish) ... karate kicked him...

Rei: (calming down enough to notice the new girl) Hey, I don't think I've seen
you around before.

Alyssa: Oh! I'm Alyssa Sumner, I just transferred as part of an exchange
program. I heard there was a shrine nearby and wanted to check it out.

Rei: Nice to meets you! I'm Rei Hino, this is Yuichiro and that's my
grandfather.

Grandpa: What a pretty young girl! Would you like to become a shrine maiden
here?

Rei: (bonks him on the head) Stop it, Grandpa!

Usagi: And I'm Usagi and this is my boyfriend, Mamo-chan! (she grips his arm
and he looks a bit flustered) We came to see if everyone wanted to go shopping
today!

Rei: Huh? I'm the only one here right now, Usagi. Didn't I tell you? I'm busy
today, I have shrine maiden duties.

Usagi: Whaaaaat? That's disappointing... oh! Hey, Alyssa, do you want to come?
I could show you around!

Alyssa: Yeah, that sounds fun!


[SCENE: Usagi, Mamoru, and Alyssa are walking down the sidewalk looking at
stores. Kuro-oni is lurking nearby, hiding in plain sight by blending into a
billboard ad that has a bunch of black-clad ninjas on it. She observes an ice
cream cart giving out ice cream to some kids, but one of them accidentally
drops his cone and start crying.]


Ice cream man: Hey, it's okay! Here, have another one.

[The child wipes his eyes, takes the cone, and gives a big smile before running
off. The ice cream man waves goodbye.]

Kuro-oni: Even small acts of kindness indicate a pure heart...


[COMMERCIAL BREAK]


[SCENE: Usagi, Mamoru, and Alyssa are browsing a small clothing store. Alyssa
and Usagi are looking a cute oversized hat with a bow on it. Mamoru is in the
men's section.]


Usagi: Hey Alyssa, are you into martial arts? I'm just asking, with the way you
kicked Yuichiro.

Alyssa: (sweatdrop) Ah, yeah, that was... an accident... (looks excited after
her momentary embarrassment) But yeah! I love martial arts, I was the local
champion back home! What do *you* like to do as a hobby?

Usagi: Aha, well, I like reading comics, and snacking... and napping!

Alyssa: (giggles) You're funny! Hey, I'm going to try this dress on, I'll be
right back.

[Alyssa leaves Usagi and heads for the changing rooms. Once she enters though,
she drops the dress on the floor absent-mindedly and gets a blank, lifeless
look in her eyes. Meanwhile, in the main part of the shop Usagi is still
browsing when she hears a scream.]

Mamoru: Did you hear that?

Usagi: Yeah!

[Usagi and Mamoru run out the store and into a nearby alley.]

[Transformation Sequence]

[Kuro-oni is standing over the ice cream man, her energy-sucking spear plunged
into his back as he lies on the ground.]

Kuro-oni: It should be any moment now...

[Sailor Moon appears]

Sailor Moon: Stop right there! How dare you interrupt a kind man dispensing
tasty cold treats on such a hot day! Ice cream is the cold food of childhood,
preserving the warm feelings of youth! I'm Sailor Moon! And in the name of the
moon, I'll punish you!

Kuro-oni: Ah, there you are.

[Suddenly a rose slashes through the air, cutting Kuro-oni's hand before
striking the ground. Standing atop one of the shops is Tuxedo Mask.]

Tuxedo Mask: And I am Tuxedo Mask, here to defend those whose small acts of
kindness make big differences in the lives of others!

Kuro-oni: Not you too! Speed Demon, teach these two a lesson!

[Kuro-oni vanishes in a cloud of smoke, and in her place is the familiar Speed
Demon. He is red with a muscular humanoid form, but instead of clothes has
armor made of car parts. The car parts are painted yellow, black, and white and
have spikes in some areas. He looks a little bit like an insane, partially-
organic Transformer. Nearby, Kuro-oni hides in an alley, about to watch the
battle.]

Speed Demon: READY! SET! GO!

[Speed Demon suddenly folds in on himself, turning into a demonic-looking car
with spikes on it. He zooms toward Sailor Moon, who clumsily dodges out of the
way.]

Sailor Moon: HEY! Watch it!

[Tuxedo Mask leaps down from the building, pulling out his cane. He jumps on
top of Speed Demon.]

Speed Demon: HEY, no free rides!

[Tuxedo Mask brings down his cane, smashing Speed Demon's windshield. Speed
Demon throws him off, but Tuxedo Mask lands on his feet. The familar then
transforms back into his humanoid form, looking down at his smashed windshield
on his armor.]

Speed Demon: How dare you! MY INSURANCE DOESN'T COVER THIS!

[While he's distracted, someone suddenly shows up to attack.]

Sailor X: Acceleration Lightning!

[Black lightning shoots toward Speed Demon, who screams as his body flashes and
the internal car parts inside him can be seen like a skeleton. Afterwards he
hunches over, smoldering.]

Sailor X: Sailor Moon! Time to let your light shine!

Sailor Moon: Right! Moon Princess Halation!

[Speed Demon is turned to dust. Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask run up to Sailor X,
who is standing on top of a vending machine.]

Sailor Moon: Sailor... X?

Sailor X: Of course, you silly! Who else?

[Meanwhile, Kuro-oni emerges from her hiding place while they're distracted,
and extracts her spear. She disappears in a cloud of smoke.]

Sailor Moon: Who are you?

Sailor X: What do you mean, "who am I?" I'm Sailor X!

[Suddenly Sailor X leaps off the vending machine onto a nearby awning, then
onto a store roof, and runs out of sight.]

Sailor Moon: WAIT!


[SCENE: Usagi and Mamoru watch as an ambulance takes away the ice cream man.
Adults are holding their children close, whispering to each other.]

Mother 1: I heard some weirdo in all-black mugged him...

Mother 2: Horrible! And I thought this area was safe for children!

[Usagi and Mamoru look worried, then suddenly Usagi realized something.]

Usagi: AHH! We forgot about Alyssa!!

[They run into the shop, where Alyssa exits the dressing room.]

Alyssa: Oh, hey! Where were you? I couldn't find you, so I tried on a bunch of
different stuff.

Usagi: Sorry! There was an... accident... outside, you didn't hear anything?

Alyssa: Hm? No, I've been in the back of the store most of the time.

[Usagi sighs in relief and smiles.]

Alyssa: Ooh! I found the perfect dress for you, too! (she starts dragging Usagi
along while Mamoru looks on in the background)

Mamoru: (sweatdrop) I think Usagi found a new shopping partner... my credit
card isn't going to like this.


[END CREDITS]
 
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noildoof

Solaris Luna
Feb 1, 2011
2,179
198
165
#16
Okay, it's been a long, LONG time, but I haven't given up this project. Real life has gotten in the way, as well as other hobbies. This will eventually be finished, I just don't have a timeline of when that will be.

This one is pretty different from the original. The next episode will be a bit closer to the original version, and we'll finally get to meet Sailor Zanadu!

[Rewrite] Sailor Moon X Episode 9: Excellent Revenge
Spoiler: show
9. Excellent Revenge

[SCENE: Usagi is in class, looking wistfully into space.]


Usagi: Everything's happened so fast... I feel like I can barely keep up.

Miss Haruna: (slams a hand on Usagi's desk and waves a paper in her face) I'll say! I can't exactly call a score of 29 "keeping up!"

Usagi: AHHH! Miss Haruna! Did I just say that out loud?!

Miss Haruna: Start daydreaming less and focusing on your studies more!


[OPENING CREDITS]


[SCENE: Usagi is walking away from school, about to meet up with the rest of the girls and head for the shrine.]


Usagi: (sighs) Miss Haruna didn't have to be so mean about it... I'm a guardian of justice, I don't have the time or energy to study!

[In the distance, Alyssa sees Usagi and runs over to her.]

Alyssa: Hey, Usagi!

Usagi: Oh! Alyssa! Do you live near here?

Alyssa: Yeah, I'm staying in an apartment just a few blocks away. Hey, do you want to go look in some shops again?

Usagi: I'd love to!! Oh, but I can't today... I'm meeting with my friends at the shrine.

Alyssa: Do you mean the shrine Rei lives at?

Usagi: Yeah, that's the one! Do you want to come with me?

Alyssa: I'd love to!

[As they walk away, someone is watching them in the distance, shrouded by foliage. She's around their age and wearing a dark green blazer and gold pleated skirt as a school uniform. She has short wavy sky blue hair and mint green eyes. She watches them with a cautiously curious gaze.]


[SCENE: All 5 girls and Alyssa have met up and are at the shrine in Rei's room.]


Makoto: (cheerfully) Leave it to Usagi to become great friends with everyone she meets!

Alyssa: I'm so happy to be making new friends already!

Ami: Don't you have friends at your school?

Alyssa: I just got here a couple of weeks ago, actually. I've been so busy settling in that I haven't had the time...

Minako: (overenthusiastically grabs Alyssa's arm and holds her close) Don't worry, we'll show you everything there is to know about life in Tokyo!

Alyssa: (awkwardly) T-thanks?

Usagi: Oooh, but tell us all about America! What's it like there? Have you seen Big Ben in person? I bet it's so cool!!

Rei: Big Ben is in England, dummy.

Alyssa: Well, America is really big... and... um...

[The other girls stare at her expectantly. Alyssa seems lost, like she's racking her brain for information.]

Makoto: Why don't you just tell us a little bit about your home town?

Alyssa: (distantly) My home...

[Alyssa's eyes glaze over, and the background behind her changes from Rei's room to Hades' lair.]

???: (soft & eerily) Alyssa...

Alyssa: (distantly) Yes, I'm here...

[Hades appears in front of her, and puts a hand on her shoulder.]

Hades: You've done well so far. You won't disappoint me, will you?

Alyssa: No, father.

Hades: Excellent... and if you continue to perform well, I'll make you Oni Master. You'll be my right-hand woman.

Alyssa: (silent with a glazed expression)

[In the distant background, hiding behind a rock, is Kuro-oni. She clenches her fist in anger.]

Hades: That's right... I couldn't ask for a better weapon.

Usagi: (distantly) Alyssa? Alyssa??

[Alyssa snaps out of it, and the background reverts back to Rei's room.]

Alyssa: Ah, sorry! I was lost in thought.

Rei: Let's give her a break, guys. I'm sure this is all a big change for her.

Alyssa: (awkward smile) Yeah, it really is!

Ami: Hey, why don't we check out the new book store nearby?

Minako: (groans) Why? We can just study here...

Makoto: Oh yeah, I heard about that place. Supposedly they have a great manga section.

Minako: (perks up) Did you say... manga?


[COMMERCIAL BREAK]


[SCENE: In Hades' dark lair, Kuro-oni is fuming.]


Kuro-oni: How... how DARE she! After everything I've done for Lord Hades, that little brat thinks she can usurp my position!

[An effeminate male laugh echoes through the cavernous halls.]

Kuro-oni: (snarls in anger) Aoi! Show yourself!

[A lanky, blue-clad ninja drops down from the shadowy ceiling.]

Aoi-oni: Sounds to me like the *real* problem is that you just can't measure up.

Kuro-oni: Insolence! How dare you speak to the Oni Master this way!

Aoi-oni: *chuckling* You heard our lord, you won't be Oni Master for long...

[Kuro-oni chucks a dagger at him, but he disappears into a cloud of smoke, laughing arrogantly.]

Kuro-oni: Damn you, Aoi... I won't let anyone get in my way! Not even if Lord Hades considers that brat his daughter... his affection will be mine and mine alone...

[Kuro-oni snaps her fingers.]

Kuro-oni: Exlibris!

[The silhouette of a Familiar appears in front of her in a cloud of smoke.]

Exlibris: Yes, master?

Kuro-oni: I have a special job for you...


[SCENE: All 6 girls are browsing the book store. Ami is looking at books about science and technology, Rei is looking at illustrated books about Japan's history, Makoto is looking at picture books of gardens, and Usagi, Minako, and Alyssa are in the manga section. The girl from before, the one with blue hair and the green and gold uniform, is browsing books on modern art.]


Usagi: HA HA HA! This one's so funny!

[Usagi turns the page, and suddenly a strange-looking woman from one of the manga panels jumps out of the manga and becomes fully human-sized. She is completely black and white, and her hair and dress are made of book pages. She wears large, thick-rimmed glasses.]

Exlibris: Quiet! Don't you know you're in a book store?!

Usagi: (freaking out) Ehh??!

[Ami, Rei, and Makoto see what's going on from their respective places in the book store. The blue-haired girl notices the enemy too, but doesn't run away and instead finds a place to hide between a bookshelf and a wall.]

Rei: The enemy's here...!

[The three run off somewhere else to go transform.]

Exlibris: You should really become familiar with the classics!

[Exlibris makes an upward sweeping motion with her arm, and sheets of book paper fly off and plaster themselves over Usagi, Minako, and Alyssa. They're blown backwards into a bookshelf, and the paper sheets stick them there. All the other patrons in the store run away screaming.]

Exlibris: Now then! To deal with a little bookworm who's caused my master some problems...

[Exlibris walks up to Alyssa and transforms her arm into a razor-sharp fountain pen. She pulls her arm back and is about to stab Alyssa.]

Sailor Mars: FIRE SOUL!

Exlibris: (she screams in agony, and then turns around to face Sailor Mars) Don't you know book burning is wrong?!

[Sailor Mars, Mercury, and Jupiter stand atop a bookshelf.]

Sailor Mars: We're all for enjoying a good book...

Sailor Mercury: ... but sometimes you really *can* judge a bad book by its cover!

Sailor Jupiter: We're the Sailor Senshi, and in the name of readers everywhere...

Sailor Mars, Mercury, and Jupiter: We'll punish you!

[The entire time, the blue-haired girl has been watching, awestruck.]

Exlibris: Ugh, you Sailor Senshi just keep getting in the way!

[Exlibris shoots out razor-sharp paper from her arm, but the senshi dodge it and the paper embeds itself in the bookshelf.]

Sailor Mercury: SHABON SPRAY!

[The whole store fills up with thick fog, and Exlibris looks around, confused.]

Exlibris: I can't read any of their positions!

[Sailors Mars, Mercury, and Jupiter run up to Usagi, Minako, and Alyssa and start tearing the paper off that's trapping them.]

Sailor Jupiter: (to Alyssa) You need to get out of here, now!

Alyssa: R-right!

[Alyssa runs off, and Sailor Mercury and Sailor Mars finish freeing Minako and Usagi. The fog clears.]

Usagi: How dare you try to kill and innocent girl! MOON CRYSTAL POWER, MAKE UP!

Minako: VENUS POWER, MAKE UP!

[TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCES]

Exlibris: You?! YOU'RE Sailor Senshi??! But you're just ordinary girls!

Sailor Moon: We may be ordinary when it's peaceful...

Sailor Venus: ... but when you come looking for a fight, we'll always be ready!

Sailor Moon: In the name of the moon...

Sailor Moon & Venus: ... we'll punish you!

[The blue haired girl in hiding gets a look of utter shock and holds her head in her hand. Scenes of a peaceful kingdom, a great war, and a destroyed planet flash before her.]

???: (softly) I... I remember! I remember it all now!


[SCENE: Alyssa is running away from the store, when suddenly something seems to come over her and her eyes become glazed. She runs into an alley.]


Alyssa: X NOVA POWER, MAKE-UP!

[Alyssa's body shimmers black as she floats in front of a dark blue, starry background. A black hole opens up and spins behind her, then drops down under her and rises, spinning around her like a tornado. It disappears and she is left standing in her sailor suit as Sailor X. She runs off back toward the store with a very angry look on her face.]


[SCENE: Back in the book store, the senshi are facing Exlibris.]


Exlibris: Oh ho ho! I may not have been able to kill the worm, but just wait until Master Hades hears who the Sailor Senshi really are!

Sailor X: Not so fast.

[Everyone looks to the side, where Sailor X is standing, fists clenched and looking enraged.]

Exlibris: YOU!

[Exlibris lunges toward Sailor X.]

Sailor X: BLACK HOLE HORIZON!

[Sailor X grips her hands tightly together, then pulls them apart. In front of her on the floor, a black hole opens up with white lightning surrounding it. It pulls Exlibris toward it, sucking out her energy, draining it. After a few moments, the hole closes up, and Exlibris collapses to the floor.]

Sailor X: (looks at Sailor Moon and gives a wry smile) You know what to do.

Sailor Moon: R-right. MOON PRINCESS HALATION!

[Exlibris is reduced to moon dust. Sailor Moon and the other senshi look to where Sailor X was, but she's gone.]

Sailor Moon: What... was that? She seemed so... different... this time.


[SCENE: The girls and Alyssa are back in Rei's room, relaxing.]

Rei: You okay?

Alyssa: Y-yeah... just shaken up, I guess.

Ami: I wonder why that monster was targeting you.

Alyssa: (darkly) Who knows.

Usagi: Don't worry, Alyssa! We'll hang out more often so you won't be alone with any monsters.

Alyssa: (warmly) Aww, thanks guys!


[END CREDITS]
 
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