Critiques wanted for general concept for my fanfiction

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Jun 17, 2019
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#2
My only critiques is that the Serenity line is unable to have a son - it’s outright stated in the Manga that the White Moon line can only ever have one child that’s a girl.

Also you should use a different name for Kronos as that’s already name of Pluto’s father (even if you interpret it as just being a metaphorical term like I do and there is no actual Chronos person, the name literally means Time thereby indicating a connection to Pluto)

Other than that it sounds like a really cool idea, very unique and creative!
 

jorgoth

Lapis Lunaris
Oct 26, 2021
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#3
Hmmmm... where does it say that she can only have a daughter? I'm interested.

As for Pluto's father being named Kronos, everybody who ascends to rulership of Saturn would adopt the name Kronos. Kronos the First, Second, Third, etc. So maybe she's the daughter of a previous ruler, or his stepsister or something.
 

jorgoth

Lapis Lunaris
Oct 26, 2021
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#5
In the Stars arc of the Manga when Chibi-Usa arrives on the scene with her Asteroid Senshi and they’re discussing Chibi-Chibi’s origins. Ceres is the one who makes mention of this.
Sorry if I seem a bit disputatious.

I don't know Japanese, are you drawing that conclusion from the original Japanese? I'll take your word for it if you are.

I checked the missdream.org scanlation, and it says that she has 1 child a millennium, for her whole life, which would allow her to have a son in the first Silver Millennium. And in the Kodansha US release, she says "I've heard that for generations, Millennium's queen has borne only one princess!" which doesn't seem to exclude her having a son.

The first would, however, preclude Hyperion being Usagi's brother. Maybe he could be her father?
 
Jun 17, 2019
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#6
Sorry if I seem a bit disputatious.

I don't know Japanese, are you drawing that conclusion from the original Japanese? I'll take your word for it if you are.

I checked the missdream.org scanlation, and it says that she has 1 child a millennium, for her whole life, which would allow her to have a son in the first Silver Millennium. And in the Kodansha US release, she says "I've heard that for generations, Millennium's queen has borne only one princess!" which doesn't seem to exclude her having a son.

The first would, however, preclude Hyperion being Usagi's brother. Maybe he could be her father?
Sorry, I just presumed that whole Quartet taking that rumor as fact meant it was true.

In any case, this only applies to Manga Canon, so if you were to set it in the 90’s anime continuity it shouldn’t contradict for that timeline.